Basketball has so much showboating you'd think it was invented by Jerome Kern. — Art Spander Copy Share Image
Buttons ... check. Dials ... check. Switches ... check. Little colored lights ... check. — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
“In any given situation there will always be more dumb people than smart people. We ain't many!” — Ken Kesey Copy Share Image
Steve Carell leaving The Office is almost as depressing as my inability to leave mine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I used to think guns were loud until I dropped the damn shampoo in the shower. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
David Boreanaz is pretty funny. He's probably the one that cracks everybody up the most on set. He can be very serious… — Emily Deschanel Copy Share Image
The people running Silicon Valley are not making the show because they want to do a satire of Silicon Valley. They are… — Daniel Lyons Copy Share Image
Makeup's just crazy, anyways. Native Americans used to wear it, and it did all right for them until, uh ... well, until… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
You have to be careful on the deck, because of the "hatches," which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It's true; I have a skill and it's... it has not related to acting, it's not related to auditions, it's not related… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
That nickname was given to me by Steve Nash when I came to the league and nobody could say my last name,… — Goran Dragic Copy Share Image
When you put your leg out of your blanket because your hot, and then getting scared because you feel exposed to monsters. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Tex looked at Duke “She’s got spunk,” he said. “Where I come from, we call it sass,” Duke replied. “Where I come… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
Alcohol: Because no good story starts with So this one time I was eating a salad — Persia Copy Share Image
Who better to so softly bind the wound of one, than she who has suffered the wound herself. — Thomas Jefferson Copy Share Image
“He was right. The annoying Disney song was right. The universe was too fucking small.” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
It's more difficult getting up early in the morning when you're wearing silk pajamas. — Eddie Arcaro Copy Share Image
I love learning bad things about people I don't like. You can throw it in their face. — Marshall Mathers AKA Eminem Copy Share Image
I use to think you took my breathe away but now I realizedI was just suffocated by your bullshit,! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How sure we are that everyone's watching. How sure we are that no one sees. — James Richardson Copy Share Image
Families composed of rugged individualists have to do things obliquely. — Florence King Copy Share Image
“I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
We don't have eternal life because we're good, we have it because God is good. — Craig Groeschel Copy Share Image
I feel terrible getting my cat fixed and relegating it to the same sexless existence as me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when youre waiting for a text but then you realize youre the one who didnt reply. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
There have been many Buddhas before me and will be many Buddhas in the future. — Gautama Buddha Copy Share Image
I don't know if I was a funny kid. I would say I was a loud and weird kid. — Will Forte Copy Share Image
