“Fuck all of you," John retorded. "You don't even exist. We're all just a figment of my cock's imagination.” — David Wong Copy Share Image
“I didn't actually know what regret tasted like—but I imagined if it did have a flavor, it would be lutefisk.” — Angela N. Blount Copy Share Image
I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum. — Roddy Piper Copy Share Image
You have learned what you have learned very well. It has helped you survive. — Virginia Satir Copy Share Image
You have to learn not only from your failures. You must also learn from your successes. — Jay Maisel Copy Share Image
I don't want to live in a world where Law & Order can be cancelled but Two and a Half Men can't. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want someone that's caring, funny, who's similar to me - who doesn't take life too seriously - keeps their private life… — Maura Higgins Copy Share Image
It's funny, I often think about how, if we were all placed in an apocalyptic situation, you'd realize quickly how stupid, petty… — Alycia Debnam-Carey Copy Share Image
“I let go of our invisibility and do something I haven't done in a while: I reach for the doorknob. ~Willow Mosby,… — Courtney Nuckels Copy Share Image
“I shouldn't have lost my temper that way. It just pricks his pride, makes him dig in his heels." "So why did… — Leigh Bardugo Copy Share Image
Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: "Ruth, you look… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
Everyone who has ever met me for at least five minutes knows I'm a really funny person. I love to laugh and… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
It's funny that some of the people who complain the most about intelligence being politicized are the ones politicizing the intelligence. — John Ratcliffe Copy Share Image
Now when I see something beautiful or funny or sweet, sometimes I reach for my camera, but other times I think, 'I… — Leelee Sobieski Copy Share Image
No matter how far away you move, you'll always be a dear friend several of us think about sometimes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mondays rock...Anyone who doesnt like mondays, must not just work 3 days a week like I do. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject. — Shelby Metcalf Copy Share Image
Relationships are like farts... If you push too hard things will get messy. — Trent Thomas Copy Share Image
I should get a college art credit for the masterpieces I have drawn on my passed out roommates. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is nothing so extreme that is not allowed by the custom of some nation or other. — Michel de Montaigne Copy Share Image
Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now??? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't break a girls heart, because she'll probably write a bestselling album about you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb. — Scott Roeben Copy Share Image
I wish I had funny dreams. My dreams are rare and inevitably end in my own death. — Mike Wozniak Copy Share Image
When someone says great minds think alike I just look at them and think you dirty bastard. — Unknow Copy Share Image
I'll call it a smart phone the day I yell, Where's my phone?! and it answers, I'm here! Under your bed! — Kollkid Copy Share Image
Our success and happiness depends not on simply knowing where we stand, but in where we are wanting to go. — Bill Crawford Copy Share Image
They are lying every day. They are lying always, and mainly they are lying to their public opinion — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
AT&T to wed T-Mobile. Following the ceremony there will be no reception. — Richard Lerner Copy Share Image
We live only to dance. If living were not an essential prerequisite, we would abstain. — Toni Bentley Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's a slut, I'm just saying she should sleep in her own bed often — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What is a butterfly? At best He's but a caterpiller drest. The gaudy Fop's his picture just. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
