Sorry your most dramatic act of rebellion these days is leaving your apartment without an umbrella. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone. — Margot Asquith Copy Share Image
Allow me to put the record straight. I am forty-six and have been for some years past. — Erica Jong Copy Share Image
I don't care if you don't like me, I'm not on this Earth to fucking please you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Now there is a society where the funeral industry got completely out of control. — Jessica Mitford Copy Share Image
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. — Billy Sunday Copy Share Image
Alien Chutney is just what the name suggests it is. Its music that is so funny and quirky and weird that it… — Vir Das Copy Share Image
The difference between Pleasure and Torture…Pleasure is thinking of you and Torture is thinking of you too much! — Simi Ngr Copy Share Image
“I'm realizing that some of my greatest (or at least most determined) genius lies in my ability to procrastinate.” — Scott Stabile Copy Share Image
“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask him yourself.” She sat up enough to look him in the eye. “I am not… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
There's only one rule in stand-up, which is that you have to be funny. Yet 99 per cent of comics look and… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided… — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
In twenty years from now... when we look back at all the stupid shit we did, it can be from behind a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I happen to be very good with younger actors because I have extremely vivid memories of that time of my life, and… — David M. Evans Copy Share Image
That moment when you finally take a decent picture and then asyou continue to stare it gets uglier — Anonymous Copy Share Image
ME:i think I'm goimg to sleep now INTERNET:hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahah NO — Unknow Copy Share Image
There is such a thing as fate, but it only takes you so far. Then its up to you to make it… — Jenna Elfman Copy Share Image
I never imagined that so many days would ultimately make such a small life. — Franz Kafka Copy Share Image
If you look at everything straight on, there is nothing to be afraid of. — Akira Kurosawa Copy Share Image
It's funny - it's called 'The Voice,' but I sure as hell didn't have the best voice on the show. I'll admit… — Cassadee Pope Copy Share Image
Say something idiotic and nobody but a dog politely wags his tail. — Virginia Graham Copy Share Image
And the history books forgot about us, and the bible didn’t mention us — Regina Spektor Copy Share Image
But when I did it (the triple-double), I didn't even know it until someone told me. — Oscar Robertson Copy Share Image
We can't control systems or figure them out. But we can dance with them! — Donella Meadows Copy Share Image
Only Peter Parker who do not end up in hospital when bitten by poisonous spider, even he become more stronger. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. — Franklin D. Roosevelt Copy Share Image
I'm no longer accepting the things I cannot change...I'm changing the things I cannot accept. — Angela Davis Copy Share Image
That special feeling when a baby grabs your finger with their whole hand .. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The Internet is a funny and scary place to talk about your feelings. — Gracie Abrams Copy Share Image
If you lose your best cornerback and punter, I'd say that's a double loss. — John Madden Copy Share Image
