The disintegration of your marriage has greatly improved my social life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Thought is not reality; yet it is through Thought that our realities are created. — Sydney Banks Copy Share Image
My theatre is not a conventional one. It is bold, serious, funny, confronting. It is anything but boring. — Haris Pasovic Copy Share Image
When you don't know where you're headed, you find places no one else would ever explore. — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
Drunk Twitter because embarrassing myself in one zip code was never enough. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Newton was sitting under an apple tree, an apple fell on his head, and he suddenly thought of the Universal Law of… — Vagabond Copy Share Image
It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
It's hard to make a movie that is both funny and emotional, that has something to say and is clear to the… — Christopher Miller Copy Share Image
Lewis Carroll, you see, wasn't really interested in telling an exciting story. Well, he wasn't interested in things like cause and effect… — James Bobin Copy Share Image
We moved to Baltimore, Maryland, in 1979, when I was five. The funny thing is that, even though Baltimore had one of… — Philipp Meyer Copy Share Image
“But the mass itself had been so boring that even her fantasies of rescuing Jesus and giving him a tender, thorough sponge… — Emma Törzs Copy Share Image
“She needed Andrew Simpson Smith, it was that simple. And he had spent his life training to help people like her. Gods.… — Scott Westerfeld Copy Share Image
I am happy to announce that we have reached an agreement on the question of transit between the Kaliningrad region and the… — Anders Fogh Rasmussen Copy Share Image
England is a very popular foreign country to visit because the people there speak some English. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The reality is the picture, it is most certainly not in the picture. — Georg Baselitz Copy Share Image
If we have the truth, it cannot be harmed by investigation. If we have not the truth, it ought to be harmed. — J. Reuben Clark Copy Share Image
How many processes are going on, to keep that teacup level in your grasp? There must be a hundred of them. — Marvin Minsky Copy Share Image
You call it it multiple personalities, I call it social networking in my head! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache. — Katt Williams Copy Share Image
“Say fuck the hole day, geuss what. By the end of that day you'ld achieve more happiness then if you did not ~” — Patricio Telman Chincocolo Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth. - Barney Stinson — How I Met Your Mother Copy Share Image
My life has been more influenced by books than by any other one thing. — Diana Vreeland Copy Share Image
Or you wanna be a muthafuckin funny guy? Don't make me break your Kevin Hart heart boy. — Drake Copy Share Image
Love Love, to be real, must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's funny how you can laugh untill you cry and cry untill you laugh...but that's just the beauty of it. — Ayjee Grogan Copy Share Image
“You want to free him? Let's gut him like a haddock. Quicker and far more satisfying.” — Holly Black Copy Share Image
You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good . . . Joan Crawford is dead. Good. — Bette Davis Copy Share Image
Girl: I have the pussy so I make the rules. Boy: I have the dick so I fuck the rules — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Your reputation is harmed the most by what you say to defend it. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb Copy Share Image
Success is how well you do what you do when nobody else is looking. — John Paul DeJoria Copy Share Image
Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip. — Arnold H Glasgow Copy Share Image
I completely lost everything, but I gained everything because I lost the fear. — Kanye West Copy Share Image
