The funny thing about tennis is that you're not always going to play your best. — Christopher Eubanks Copy Share Image
One of the things they always say in Hollywood is pretty girls can't be funny. And it used to infuriate me. — Shanna Moakler Copy Share Image
When something online is free, you're not the customer, you're the product. — Jonathan Zittrain Copy Share Image
I can become you for a second and you can become me and this lifts us up. — Meryl Streep Copy Share Image
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
“I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something quite different about you, from the last time we were together,… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, dont stress my son u… — Ali Bassam Copy Share Image
I think I'm one of those guys who was sort of always in comedy. I thought of myself - and other people… — Andy Daly Copy Share Image
“It was a full Spears album, apparently, and each song was as ridiculous as the one before. They were catchy, yes, but… — Heidi Cullinan Copy Share Image
“Dana was what Steve called a "silent partner" in the Brixton Brothers Detective Agency. Being a silent partner meant that Dana didn't… — Mac Barnett Copy Share Image
My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up… — Bob Monkhouse Copy Share Image
Miss Cleo girl if you out there gimme a call with the winning numbers to the lottery cuz I'm tired of being… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. — George D. Prentice Copy Share Image
My husband is very funny and his humor has gotten us through a lot. He's good at defusing me. — Julie Bowen Copy Share Image
Have you ever been hated, or discriminated against I have, I’ve been protested and demonstrated against. — Eminem Copy Share Image
The adult in me wants Vodka, while the kid in me wants Orange Juice. It's a good thing they get along. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Sometimes it was funny - the passion he put into each new phase.” — Jonathan Kellerman Copy Share Image
The beach is a great place to relieve the soul-crushing stress you build up in the traffic going to the beach. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Want to dance? We have music this time. And I don't have to punch you when we finish.” — Amy Tintera Copy Share Image
We all have a timeline. Most of us don't live like we have a timeline. — Steve Gleason Copy Share Image
A madman and an arahant both smile, but the arahant knows why while the madman doesn't. — Ajahn Chah Copy Share Image
We must learn that to expect God to do everything while we do nothing is not faith but superstition. — Martin Luther King, Jr Copy Share Image
Stop telling lies about me, or I am going to start telling the truth about you! — Richie Parker Copy Share Image
The funny thing is, I look at these magazines that make me so insecure and neurotic, but I'm in them! — Heather Graham Copy Share Image
Act only in Love. Make every moment of your life an outpouring of love. — Neale Donald Walsch Copy Share Image
Its funny,because you are jealous!:P Jealous of me..how? I dunno,but whatever! STAY JEALOUS! — Jazzy Copy Share Image
You'd be amazed how much research you can get done when you have no life whatsoever. — Ernest Cline Copy Share Image
I hate the nerds that cover up their answers.. Like come on, let's work together bro. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A good and true woman is said to resemble a Cremona fiddle: age but increases its worth and sweetens its tone. — Oliver Wendell Holmes Copy Share Image
If a girl bangs 10 guys in a year, shes a slut. But if a guy does it¦ hes gay. Definately gay. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I named my first born child after my mother-in-law. In fact, lazy fat ass bitch turns 5 tomorrow. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
