It's all fun and games until someone calls the cops. Then it's a new game; Hide and Seek. — Psyche_Zeroh Copy Share Image
Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Having a dog is my favorite way to avoid the responsibility of having children. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Whoa, who was that?” “Madison Stone,” Kiara mutters. “Introduce me to her.” “Why?” Because I know it’ll annoy the shit out of… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
“Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers and boys used to dress like their fathers. Now girls… — Habeeb Akande Copy Share Image
I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Lovely days in my life : Childhood Days, School Days & collage Days, Horrible days in my life : ONLY EXAM DAYS :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm as good as anybody out there lyrically and conceptually and can go toe to toe with the best of them throughout… — Coolio Copy Share Image
I come in the house soaking wet and am greeted by Is it Raining? Nope, I decided to take the fish for… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Don't edit yourself too much. Don't be afraid of looking stupid, 'cool' is so rarely funny I think. And just do it!… — Mae Martin Copy Share Image
Every girls dream is to have a guy who calls her 3am just to say, hey baby, I just wanted to tell… — Khat Leen Copy Share Image
“You aren’t allowed back until you’ve learned to willingly suspend disbelief.” — Rebecca Murphy Copy Share Image
I have clothes all over my floor. ;) ...Mostly because I don't do my laundry. — Santana Copy Share Image
'Bathtub' spelled backwards is still'bathtub'. It's not, but for a second there, you believed me :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Astronaut restaurant review from the moon: The food is fine but there's not much atmosphere. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
You can have information or you can have a life, but you can't have both. — Douglas Coupland Copy Share Image
There are three natural anaesthetics: Sleep, fainting, and death. — Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr Copy Share Image
You know they invented wheelbarrows to teach FAA inspectors to walk on their hind legs. — Martin Caidin Copy Share Image
I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat. — Ron Atkinson Copy Share Image
I would never mind being in an odd abusive relationship, if my girlfriend would punch me with her tits. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Not being funny doesn't make you a bad person. Not having a sense of humor does. — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
“To be unpopular, you must look the part. Remember four words: plastic flowered swim cap.” — Jennifer Ziegler Copy Share Image
Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements. — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
“If you want the truth from someone, just make them angry.” — Jason Gabriel Kondrath Copy Share Image
I don't like people. I like rock and roll, sex, and pizza in that order — That 70 Show Copy Share Image
We are often better served by connecting ideas than we are by protecting them. — Steven Johnson Copy Share Image
