The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25 year old men more. — Colleen McCullough Copy Share Image
A problem only becomes a problem when we choose to see it as a problem — Robin Sharma Copy Share Image
I always write about my own experiences, whether I've had them or not. — Ron Carlson Copy Share Image
I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my penis into a poodle. — Dan Whitney Copy Share Image
Yes, I always had that sense it was wrong. I don’t think anybody can kill somebody and think that it’s right. — Jeffrey Dahmer Copy Share Image
What we learn from history is that people don't learn from history. — Warren Buffett Copy Share Image
My best tweets are when someone take them personnel & instantly unfollow me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Look at the limes in this drink, how they float. That's good news. Next time I'm on a boat, and it capsizes,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
You know, I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well… — Fiona Apple Copy Share Image
I have a Sharpie. I love Sharpies. You know what they say on them? Not for letter writing. That sucks. Now I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“A totally nondenominational prayer: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I… — Roger Zelazny Copy Share Image
I have always been very fond of them (drama critics) . . . I think it is so frightfully clever of them… — Noel Coward Copy Share Image
“Don't you just hate that, you meet a girl she seems pretty nice, you tell all your friends and before you know… — L.j Smith Copy Share Image
There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.' That's not why I became an… — Margot Robbie Copy Share Image
I've been very lucky to work in a newsroom where there are lots of strong, funny, clever women in senior positions. — Kate Garraway Copy Share Image
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Experiences aren't given to us to be 'got over,' otherwise they would hardly be experiences. — Penelope Fitzgerald Copy Share Image
If God is enough for you, then you'll always have enough, because you'll always have God. — Max Lucado Copy Share Image
Garry Shandling always said to me,Dont get mad, get funny. It changed my life. — Rip Torn Copy Share Image
I am always content with what happens; for I know that what God chooses is better than what I choose. — Epictetus Copy Share Image
I waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it must have been from you. — Ashleigh Brilliant Copy Share Image
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I wish I could get excited about anything as much as girls get excited about cupcakes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It is always funny to see a grown man bully get beat up by a little girl or anything. — Kenny Omega Copy Share Image
“You need to be greedy or ignorant to truly want to live forever.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I was asked to name all the presidents. I thought they already had names — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
When you locate a bargain, you must ask, 'Why me, God? Why am I the only one who could find this bargain?' — Charlie Munger Copy Share Image
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. — Caryn Leschen Copy Share Image
The eternal world and the mortal world are not parallel, rather they are fused. — John O'Donohue Copy Share Image
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant! — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Dear pimples, if you are going to live on my face, I am going to need to see some rent... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think. — Benjamin Disraeli Copy Share Image
Why do we shrink from change? What can come into being save by change? — Marcus Aurelius Copy Share Image
When you're free from the idea of doership then something else within you emerges. It is yourself. — Phylicia Rashad Copy Share Image
