Faith is not to get you out of a hard place but to change your heart in the hard place. — David Wilkerson Copy Share Image
Middle age is when you're old enough to know better but still young enough to do it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As soon as I learned what the smell of bacon was, I learned how to make it. — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
Don't say it's funny and miss the truth. Laugh at it while taking down the message. — Terry Mark Copy Share Image
I come from nothing: but from where come the undying thoughts I bear? — Alice Meynell Copy Share Image
So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster". — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
You're a jerk, an asshole, and immature you don't make sense and sometimes, I just want to strangle you, but on top… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs.All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then… — Cindy Crawford Copy Share Image
That is what I got into comedy for, to be able to challenge myself and just grow as a comedian and find… — Jaboukie Young-White Copy Share Image
Sgt. Hartman: 'How tall are you, Private?'... Private Cowboy: 'Sir, five-foot-nine, sir!'... Sgt. Hartman: 'Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that… — Gunnery Sgt Hartmant Copy Share Image
“Setne laughed. “Nice try, dol. You guys sit tight. If you make it through the big shake-up, I’ll come back and get… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Thomas Jefferson once said. He said , "We should never judge a President by his age, only by his works." And ever… — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
Women are like iPhones: You have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries: Rub one ball and… — Azgraybebly Joslan Copy Share Image
“Bet it would be even more awkward if I kissed you now, huh?' Yes, please. 'The next time we kiss had better… — Rebecca Yarros Copy Share Image
“He was a humorist, and everyone knew the funny writers were the most serious sort under their skins.” — Paula McLain Copy Share Image
Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther. — Rowan Atkinson Copy Share Image
We must trust God, not only WHEN we do not understand, but BECAUSE we do not understand. — Steve Lawson Copy Share Image
My dad was proud of himself when he farted. He sounds like he's strangling a chicken when he farts. — Carl Barron Copy Share Image
Everyone could face something that hurts him. But I don't expect that I will be hurt — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you pretend die infront of your pet and they dont move. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.” — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
Hey babiee , mah love is devine , uh know I can even give uh mah facebook password :p — Rechureshmaa Copy Share Image
It's funny, growing up there was never anybody around me with any kind of artistic bent. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms into body wash. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
When you’re truly connecting with wisdom, the more you learn, the more you realize the less you know. — Yehuda Berg Copy Share Image
