Happiness and health must be earned by absolute control of the emotional nature. — Florence Scovel Shinn Copy Share Image
It's funny because Hollywood is such a small place that everyone really is less than 6 degrees of separation. — Kevin Connolly Copy Share Image
Like, I feel like I'm funny, despite the fact that I keep getting rejected by people less funny than me. — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
The characters I usually get offered are described as 'none too bright' or 'funny but a little air-brained.' — Didi Conn Copy Share Image
My favorite review described me as the cinematic equivalent of junk mail. — Steve Buscemi Copy Share Image
I hate it when I'm drinking and somebody tries to correct my Vodkabulary. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It's funny how a person can be right all the time and still be wrong.” — Louis Sachar Copy Share Image
One of the funny lines that Daniel Bryan said in a promo is that he made fun of me for driving in… — Mustafa Ali Copy Share Image
“Lou, honey, I'll buy you a new pair of shoes if you'll stop flashing your panties at everyone sitting across the room… — Ronda Thompson Copy Share Image
“I was even starting to relax—a little—until he took me to his parents' house for dinner. I've never met two people more… — Gena Showalter Copy Share Image
“My brother spent a large portion of the agonizingly slow drive to school banging his forehead on the stearing wheel.” — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
“Sydney did not believe in life after death, but in her experience, admitting this could lead to long and complicated discussions in… — Maureen F. McHugh Copy Share Image
“All superheroes have origin stories, like how Bruce Wayne’s parents get killed and he goes to Tibet or whatever, and Superman is… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
“What are you waiting for?" shanna asked. "He's dying! Do it!" Conner looked at Angus. "Ye do it. It was yer idea."… — Kerrelyn Sparks Copy Share Image
My dad is really funny, and I have a strong memory of being proud that he could make a room laugh, but… — Rebecca Front Copy Share Image
I would tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don't want to see you everyday. — Hannah Cole Copy Share Image
Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Could I but know all, I would have the faith of a Breton peasant woman — Louis Pasteur Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be that funny young guy who people were like, 'This is the next Belushi or Farley.' — Paul Walter Hauser Copy Share Image
A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. — Fats Domino Copy Share Image
Roses are red Violets are blue I've got a knife Get in the van. — Myothersweetangel199 Copy Share Image
If you can see your path clearly in front of you, it's probably someone else's. — Joseph Campbell Copy Share Image
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Replace what you don't know about the future with what you do know about God! — Christine Caine Copy Share Image
I'm just funny enough as a comedian to know I'm not good enough to be a comedian. — John Popper Copy Share Image
When the question is either/or, the answer is almost alwaysboth/and. — Bill Crawford Copy Share Image
Stop waiting for prince charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot maybe stuck in tree or something. — Khat Leen Copy Share Image
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
They say that these are not the best of times, but they're the only times I've ever known. — Billy Joel Copy Share Image
You help someone's health, and you prevent them from infecting others. — Anthony S. Fauci Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
I like the idea of getting money from corporations to do funny bits as long as they don't meddle. — Gavin McInnes Copy Share Image
