The power to do things for people is also the power to do things to people. — Isabel Paterson Copy Share Image
Are we not formed, as notes of music are, For one another, though dissimilar? — Percy Bysshe Shelley Copy Share Image
If she thinks a vibrator is just a setting on a phone, she's too young for you bro. — Cheyenne Copy Share Image
Success comes from persistently improving and inventing, not from persistently promoting what’s not working. — Derek Sivers Copy Share Image
Apparently you aren't allowed to have problems if you aren't a starving african child or a delhi rape victim. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
R.I.P to my Ex...the funeral will be held at Never Again Baptist Church, located across from The Lies You Told Cemetery, on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Justin's new album is finally out.i'm so proud of him. he worked so hard. :') now I just gotta wait till my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you are funny, people will like you. A lot of advertising is based on this simple rule. The Tory MP Boris… — Peter Hitchens Copy Share Image
When my tweet doesn't get RTed I whisper I don't care what they say. I'm in love with you & kiss the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
People who use their erudition to write for a learned minority... don't seem to me favored by fortune but rather to be… — Desiderius Erasmus Copy Share Image
People used to be funny about approaching me, but now they seem to think I'm as sane as anyone who's done what… — Philip Seymour Hoffman Copy Share Image
I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
That Awkward Moment, Is That Moment When You Talk To Yourself And You Start Smiling Like An Idiot, Because You're Just So… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
Me and food have a love, hate relationship, I love to eat, but hate to get fat. — Rashida Rowe Copy Share Image
Damn, I forgot to go to the gym yesterday! That's 10 years in a row now... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Is it me? Is it like I have a beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear? — Lisa Kudrow Copy Share Image
She wanted me inside of her, I told her I already was. She questioned how? I answered: Your heart. — Raghib Clitso Copy Share Image
Naming someone you know your parents approve of, when they ask who you're texting — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The key to making things understandable is to understand what it’s like not to understand. — Richard Saul Wurman Copy Share Image
I hate that there's such an emphasis on women in comedy. Are women OK? Are they just as funny as men? Yes! — Nicole Byer Copy Share Image
The first time I seen the term lmao used, I thought someone was calling me lame but just miss spelled it. — Merle Anthony Rowland Copy Share Image
Lost my Tic-Tacs yesterday... Now I'm looking for some replace mints. — Risa Schizophrenia Copy Share Image
Facebook? You mean that thing pussies use to bitch about their problems? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Mom, I love you more than a kidnapped white girl running into the arms of Charles Ramsey. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My point is not that everything is bad, but that everything is dangerous, which is not exactly the same as bad. — Michel Foucault Copy Share Image
It's safer to do nothing and know why you doing it, than to do something and don't know why you do it. — Myles Munroe Copy Share Image
I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
On his teenage son: To be honest, I'm not sure the same kid comes home each night. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
“There's nothing quite as funny as someone else's misery - Cassel Sharpe” — Holly Black Copy Share Image
