My girlfriend said, I hate it when you finish my sentences. So I said, Period. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Allah always gives you signs, when you are with Him, that He is with you. — Malcolm X Copy Share Image
And the end and the beginning where always there, before the beginning and after the end. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I call my wife and daughter before every show and they say, 'Be funny.' — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
Tina Fey is just amazing. And she is just so funny and so good hearted. — Hornswoggle Copy Share Image
“And I decided to play the hero. See how it felt. To try." "And?" she asks. "I didn't like it," he admits.… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
I've done a lot of theater in my time, and in rehearsals, you're like, 'Well, we find it funny,' but until you… — Phil Dunster Copy Share Image
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
“I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
You make me laugh at things that aren't funny. You make me smile without actually being here. You make my stomach flip… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Pick up a thing," [Wizard Kadmeion's]mother would say. "Touch, smell, and taste it. Listen to its nonsense. Then put the funny thing… — Lita Burke Copy Share Image
A film that I love is 'Raising Arizona' and that's funny but it's quite indie and weird and odd and quirky. I'd… — Stephen Moyer Copy Share Image
When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
It's definitely not the character who it is in the comics, I'll say that much. — James Gunn Copy Share Image
Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them? — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's. — Jonathan Tropper Copy Share Image
LOVE LETTERS, correspondence that should always bear the salutation: My Dearest, and Gentlemen of the Jury; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you go long enough without a bath, even the fleas will let you alone. — Ernie Pyle Copy Share Image
The things in our lives that die and can't be laid to rest hurt the most. — Haley Webb Copy Share Image
I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
What's the difference between Justin Bieber and an abortion? I'd pay to see an abortion. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
“Don't come closer to me at any time without make-up. I may slap and make you feel the taste of death.” — Jeevagan Nagarajan Copy Share Image
True abundance has nothing to do with what I am having, but everything to do with what I am being. — Neale Donald Walsch Copy Share Image
Of course I can do this. I'm pregnant, not brain-damaged. My condition doesn't change my personality. — Christine Feehan Copy Share Image
The most dangerous person is a mailman becoming a hitman, he knows where you live. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Have a happy Mother's Day before your kids reach an age when they're completely jaded about Mother's Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not interested in making horror-comedies, but I'm very interested in making scary movies with funny parts. — Jason Blum Copy Share Image
If you don't go do what you wanna do, you're just bullshitting yourself. — Carroll Shelby Copy Share Image
“it's funny how life seems only to be able to give and take, instead of just give!” — Tom Mitcheltree Copy Share Image
![“Pick up a thing," [Wizard Kadmeion's]mother would say. "Touch, smell, and taste it. Listen to its nonsense. Then put the funny thing in its proper place.” quote by Lita Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/78b/lita-burke-34187_funny_pick-up-a-thing-wizard-kadmeion-s-mother_455559.jpg)
