“Ms. Fang is the nicest, sweetest teacher at Scary School. She only ate twelve kids last year.” — Derek The Ghost Copy Share Image
I miss slamming my phone shut when I got off a call mad, not poking my screen in an angry rage… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you have the power to create it, you also have the power to transform it. — Ken Johnston Copy Share Image
I actually acted onstage before I'd ever seen a live performance, and I loved it. — Bob Gunton Copy Share Image
Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The fear of God is the death of every other fear; like a mighty lion, it chases all other fears before it. — Charles Spurgeon Copy Share Image
Some of my felloe rappers act like they were recorded by Jesus and then God did the mixing and mastering. — Clinton Bopoto Copy Share Image
“You know what you are, Sam Brody?" she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. "A big, fat tease." They both knew… — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
Welcome to facebook, where you can stalk your exes, freak out your frends, and go from normal to bi polor in 30 secounds! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never thought, 'I'm going to learn how to be funny now!,' and I'm still surprised when other people think I'm funny.… — Lisa Hanawalt Copy Share Image
The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Who wears masks?’ ‘Bank robbers?’ ‘No.’ ‘Really ugly people?’ ‘No.’ ‘Halloween? People wear masks at Halloween.’ ‘Yes! They do!’ He flung his… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
Life is funny and we are really funny, especially when we get to be hoity toity; we can be so ridiculous. Life… — Desmond Tutu Copy Share Image
“Thirty-four, still undecided on a name, sat practicing his Realm tongue with Draker, although much of the lesson seemed to consist of… — Anthony Ryan Copy Share Image
“Alec shrugged "Look who's talking. 'Oh, I love her. Oh, she's my sister. Oh why,why,why--" Jace threw a handful of dead leaves… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter how much we know, it matters how clearly others can understand what we know. — Simon Sinek Copy Share Image
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
Baby you light up my world like nobody else I whisper as I turn my laptop brightness up. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How can anybody who is the head of a nation afford not to be a prag-matist? — Indira Gandhi Copy Share Image
Let him open your mind before he opens your Legs. The bond usually lasts longer. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny. — Bobby Darin Copy Share Image
Thanks for getting divorced and adding to the statistical evidence I use as an excuse to avoid marriage. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm no expert, Rock, but I don't think I have any poontang...to give you. — Mick Foley Copy Share Image
