Many things can make you rich, but only a few things can enrich you. — Robert G. Allen Copy Share Image
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My best tweets are when someone take them personnel & instantly unfollow me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What we learn from history is that people don't learn from history. — Warren Buffett Copy Share Image
Yes, I always had that sense it was wrong. I don’t think anybody can kill somebody and think that it’s right. — Jeffrey Dahmer Copy Share Image
“You need to be greedy or ignorant to truly want to live forever.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
It took me eight books to finally be at a point in my career where I could come out with a book… — John Scalzi Copy Share Image
Sometimes when you do a whole script, you hand it off, and it gets rewritten by a bunch of people, and people… — Robert Ben Garant Copy Share Image
I started 'Will & Grace' when I was 39, and Nick started 'Parks and Rec' when he was 39. And he's really… — Megan Mullally Copy Share Image
The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign. He didn't mean to, but the joint he was smoking fell in his lap,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Winnie, don't you ever think you're selling yourself short?" "Nope. Never. I'm really good at picking quality dick.” — Elizabeth Brown Copy Share Image
They say that marijuana is an entrance to other drugs...I say it's more like an entrance to the late night drive-thru window. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everyone makes mistakes but only ur girlfriends, wife & boss have the gifted talent of finding, remembering and reminding it to you.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It is always funny to see a grown man bully get beat up by a little girl or anything. — Kenny Omega Copy Share Image
I waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it must have been from you. — Ashleigh Brilliant Copy Share Image
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I wish I could get excited about anything as much as girls get excited about cupcakes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I am always content with what happens; for I know that what God chooses is better than what I choose. — Epictetus Copy Share Image
Garry Shandling always said to me,Dont get mad, get funny. It changed my life. — Rip Torn Copy Share Image
If God is enough for you, then you'll always have enough, because you'll always have God. — Max Lucado Copy Share Image
Experiences aren't given to us to be 'got over,' otherwise they would hardly be experiences. — Penelope Fitzgerald Copy Share Image
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at school... — Will Ferrell Copy Share Image
As u grow older ur secrets are safe with your friends because they cant remember them either — Alex Matshaba Copy Share Image
Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life. — Muhammad Ali Copy Share Image
After I die, I shall return to earth as a gatekeeper of a bordello and I won't let any of you enter. — Arturo Toscanini Copy Share Image
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Some people come into your life to make you fall in love with songs you had no idea existed — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Roses are red,Violets are blue,I'm breaking up wit you ,Watcha gonna do? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Cinema, for me, has always been something like music composed with photographic images. — Roger Ebert Copy Share Image
Men are like...Parking Spots. The good ones are taken and the rest are too small. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We all make mistakes. What makes me different is that I cry after every single one of them. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You can make literally anything sound sexual just by whispering it. the dishes are dirty — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
