Is funny when people talk about you… Although the ONLY thing they know about you is your NAME . — Wiz Khalifa Copy Share Image
I dont care how old I am. I still panic like crazy when I lose my siblings in the mall. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
People often ask me how I make things funny. I don't make things funny. — Richard Russo Copy Share Image
“Wanted: Steel toed Bible thumpers to reach a monster truck mad world.” — M.J. McGuire Copy Share Image
When you bump into your own mom at an orgy, it's hard not to get her to read into certain things. — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. Some of… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
“Don't mind her," Kip said to Nicki. "She's just crabby from the long ride." "Yeah, I've been riding with...I mean on...a horse's… — Shawn Keenan Copy Share Image
We are fans of Mozart and Beethoven, as well 'South Park' and Borat. We believe that we can attract many people who… — Aleksey Igudesman Copy Share Image
“Van was feeding Christian as we walked in the door. I shielded my hands in front of my face to prevent from… — Jennifer Foor Copy Share Image
I just bought a Chihuahua. It's the dog for lazy people. You don't have to walk it. Just hold it out the… — Anthony Ward Clark Copy Share Image
Eenie meenie miney mo, caught you cheating with that hoe, tried to lie right through my face, think again you've been replaced — Avalon Copy Share Image
You ever go to shop for tuna, and it says "dolphin safe", and you look at it and kind of go, "Yeah,… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
The world would be a better place if everyone took a chill pill. It would get even better if some of them… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dang it, I did it again. My mama's birthday was yesterday...Love you Ma! — Epifania Savea Copy Share Image
Madame…gloatingly savored her words as earlier she had savored her pig's trotter. — Georges Simenon Copy Share Image
He robs present ills of their power who has perceived their coming beforehand. — Seneca the Younger Copy Share Image
(::::::[ ]::::::) use this band aide to heal that dark soul sucking beast you call a heart — Me Myself And I Copy Share Image
I been listening to Rick Ross and all the guy raps about is cars he can't even fit in.. WTF — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
At first there was nothingthen nothing turned itself inside-out and became something — Sun Ra Copy Share Image
Me: Yes mom, I did what you wanted me to do! *Quietly doesit before she finds out I didn't* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yo mama's so stupid that she rubbed j!zz all over her face thinking it was Olay. — Alec Straub Copy Share Image
You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants. — Andy Warhol Copy Share Image
The word 'funny' is a bit like the word 'love' - we don't have enough words to describe the many varieties. — George Saunders Copy Share Image
A book may be very amusing with numerous errors, or it may be very dull without a single absurdity. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I know a lot less about God, but the things I know about God, I know a whole lot more, for sure, — Steven Curtis Chapman Copy Share Image
Risk can be greatly reduced by concentrating on only a few holdings. — Warren Buffett Copy Share Image
It is your life and it is worth risking everything to make it yours. — Oprah Winfrey Copy Share Image
It’s not about the amount of time you devote but rather what you devote to that time that counts. — Neil Patel Copy Share Image
Maybe pretty women were always funny but only now decided to go into comedy, — Patricia Marx Copy Share Image
![“(::::::[ ]::::::) use this band aide to heal that dark soul sucking beast you call a heart” quote by Me Myself And I](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/108/me-myself-and-i-32353_funny_use-this-band-aide-to-heal-that-dark-sou_1628231.jpg)
