Math: 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People here are funny. They work so hard at living, they forget how to live. — Robert Riskin Copy Share Image
If one teacher can't teach us all the subjects , how can we learn all the subjects ? — Mohamed Navaal Copy Share Image
“I was just wondering, what would you say to a pair of kittens?" ""Hi, snack food?” — Kaje Harper Copy Share Image
If I get 30 days to study I'll spend 29 days to find xerox notes. -Engineer :P — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
My wife told me she wanted something with lots of diamonds, I bought her a deck of cards — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It's hilarious when school textbooks try too hard at being racially diverse. 'Brad, Latisha, Pablo and Kwan were doing a math problem...' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think we're seeing in working mothers a change from "Thank God it's Friday" to "Thank God it's Monday." If any working… — Ann Diehl Copy Share Image
Anne Wiazemsky wrote two books about her life with Jean-Luc Godard between 1966 and 1969. And I first read the second one,… — Michel Hazanavicius Copy Share Image
I think the scores for Olympic gymnastics are affected by what countries the judge and the gymnast are from. That's wrong. That… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Guests are people who come to your home to see you whine at the table, bark loudly, jump on women wearing pantyhose,… — Peg Kehret Copy Share Image
“Breckin shrugs. “I’m new here. And if you haven’t deducted from my impeccable fashion sense, I think it’s safe to say that… — Colleen Hoover Copy Share Image
I love Halloween, it's the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Spider-Man and going home with… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Alice opened the door when I rang. She had on green pyjamas and held a hairbrush in one hand. She looked wearily… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
The commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper says it tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper. Well, then they screwed up! — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Log off Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, grab phone, check Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I met this cowboy with a brown paper hat, paper waistcoat and paper trousers. He was wanted for rustling. — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
Boys, if you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to look like Victoria's Secret Angels. — Cuts And Scars Copy Share Image
I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm fortunate that I'm making a living at it now because I'm not equipped to do anything else. — Sonny Rollins Copy Share Image
I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery. — Beverly D'Angelo Copy Share Image
“Maxon: “To be clear, no one agrees with you.” America: “To be clear, I don’t care.” — Kiera Cass Copy Share Image
The wisdom coming from above, the faith that sweetly works by love. — Charles Wesley Copy Share Image
I don't remember everything I have read but I do remember quite a few reds that I have seen — Danny Santagato Copy Share Image
Where force is necessary, there it must be applied boldly, decisively and completely. — Leon Trotsky Copy Share Image
Know that the thing that is easiest to do is rarely the thing that is best to do. — Robin Sharma Copy Share Image
The day I got a hit off (Sandy) Koufax was when he knew it was all over. — Sparky Anderson Copy Share Image
When we see only what we want to see in the Bible, it loses all power to transform us. — Jim Cymbala Copy Share Image
Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear...'Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
