The best place to drink beer is at home. Or on a river bank, if the fish dont bother you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is not how much you make that counts, but how much money you keep. — Robert Kiyosaki Copy Share Image
The beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. — Dietrich Bonhoeffer Copy Share Image
There are three things most men love but never understand; females, girls and women. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents) — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
“I wish I could punch him in his smug face and show him how undeterred I am by his exile.” — Holly Black Copy Share Image
Person 1: I can draw really well Person 2: I'm athletic Person 3: I can write really well Person 4: I'm fucking… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I hate those girls in My Super Sweet 16 that cry because they got a black Mercedes instead of a white Range… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I wanted all my life to hear: 'My… — Mark Klein Copy Share Image
“My eye was drawn to a bright green hue, the same shade as a poisonous Amazonian frog, the tiny, delightfully deadly ones.” — Gail Honeyman Copy Share Image
It's nice to see a story that centers around other couples, instead of having, you know, the sassy gay friend or the… — Scott Evans Copy Share Image
People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Burn your computer. Blow up your TV. Bludgeon your cell phone. Breathe deeply. This, my friends, is the secret to inner-peace. — Brian Vaszily Copy Share Image
I could not paint at all if I had to paint slowly. Every effect is so transient, it must be rapidly painted. — Joaquin Sorolla Copy Share Image
Hitler might not have been such an asshole if he hadn't been left hanging for all his high fives. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The body, she says, is subject to the force of gravity. But the soul is ruled by levity, pure. — Saul Bellow Copy Share Image
If a playwright is funny, the English look for a serious message, and if he's serious, they look for a joke. — Sacha Guitry Copy Share Image
God made Man before Woman because you always make the rough draft before the final masterpiece. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Am I the only one? who shakes the magic 8 ball till I get the answer I want? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate how… after an argument I think about more clever stuff I could of said — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook. — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
Comedy is a meritocracy. If you are funny, you are there. If you are not, you are out. — Kevin Feige Copy Share Image
With every day that goes by, there will be further reductions on what's left of the season — David Stern Copy Share Image
I like idolator.com a lot. Every once in a while they shred me on there, but it's usually pretty funny. — Pete Wentz Copy Share Image
It has often been said there’s so much to be read, you never can cram all those words in your head. — Dr. Seuss Copy Share Image
There's nothing in your life you can't learn from, if you respond with the right attitude. — Rick Warren Copy Share Image
“Lettuce mustard our strength, celery-brate and have bun while I scream, relish the day!” — Tom Althouse Copy Share Image
Roses are white nightlock is blue its called Catching Fire not Hunger Games 2 — Priyanka Copy Share Image
Knock knock. who there? Your eviction notice you got 3 dayz to be out. — Damian Coleman Copy Share Image
“In reality most human beings are not, to most human beings, more important than money.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The language with which I make my poems has nothing to do with one spoken here, or anywhere. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
