At every concert I've sensed a certain insecurity about the tempo. It's clearly marked 80...uh, 69. — Eugene Ormandy Copy Share Image
We don't wear sequins because we think we're great. We wear them because we think sequins are great. — Gram Parsons Copy Share Image
Steve Buscemi, in between takes, becomes like a clam. It's hard to get a word out of him. It's very funny. — Peter Stormare Copy Share Image
I don't need to be NUMBER 1 in something. As long as I am not as TRYING HARD as YOU ARE. shame… — ALYSSA Copy Share Image
The question is not "To be or not to be," it is what we should be until we are not. — Soren Kierkegaard Copy Share Image
I'm always in situations where you can't be funny, and yet I want to do it anyway. — Tim Heidecker Copy Share Image
When an Italian tells me it's pasta on the plate, I check under the sauce to make sure. — Alex Ferguson Copy Share Image
Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly. — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been… — Jane Pauley Copy Share Image
I just always remember there being an ability to amuse schoolmates. Not in a kind of 'dance-around-at-the-front-of-the-room-with-his-trousers-off' way, but probably with a… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
Not saying I want to be behind the wheel but I swear some people need to be hit by cars might knock… — Serenity C Copy Share Image
Dear girls, It does not mean you're ugly if no one courting you, maybe because you just super beauty that's why boys… — Innah Delos Angeles Copy Share Image
As a comedian and talk show host, Jon Stewart has been pretty funny. But as a pundit and player in our politics,… — Jamelle Bouie Copy Share Image
Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, "Do not… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I think the reason Jesus is so popular, just on a celebrity level, is that he died at the peak of his… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you do more than you're paid for eventually you'll be paid for more than you do. — Zig Ziglar Copy Share Image
I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine? — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
Don't depend on something that comes from outside. Outside things are never going to make you happy. — Swami Satchidananda Copy Share Image
I went to work and did a lot of homework about what was wrong with me — Margot Kidder Copy Share Image
You are either the best. Or you are the worst. There is no in between. — Conor McGregor Copy Share Image
Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabetsoup? — John Mendoza Copy Share Image
You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
The more hard lessons you can learn vicariously rather than through your own hard experience, the better. — Charlie Munger Copy Share Image
More content will be created today than existed in entirety before 2003. — Steve Rubel Copy Share Image
Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
It's not that it's so good with money, but that it's so bad without it. — George Sanders Copy Share Image
NOW is saying that in order to be a woman, you've got to be a lesbian. — Pat Roberts Copy Share Image
I don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drugs, I only have one small problem, I lie. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
