If my story were ever to be written truthfully from start to finish, it would amaze everyone. — Henri Matisse Copy Share Image
There is something I do not know, the knowing of which could change everything. — Werner Erhard Copy Share Image
I thought that unless people know me, they wouldn't find me funny. — Heather McDonald Copy Share Image
If you're going to affirm something, affirm the truth. Then go do something about it. — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're better off being The Beatles than The Monkees, as a startup... — Ben Horowitz Copy Share Image
There was a knock on our dressing-room door. Our manager shouted, 'Keith! Ron! The Police are here!' Oh, man, we panicked, flushed… — Keith Richards Copy Share Image
Importance of thumb- Child use it4sucking. Illiterate people use it4sign, Winners4victory & my FANS use it4reading my sms Oh U too? Crazy… — Sadie Copy Share Image
“Parliament will also struggle with Shakespeare. Rappers stutter too when they flirt. The palms of poised politicians sweat. Police officers fart. Princesses… — Karl Kristian Flores Copy Share Image
You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
My grandmother raised me. She was a real no-nonsense but very funny lady. I drove tractors, made hay, milked cows, fed the… — Carol Bartz Copy Share Image
My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station.… — Bruce Baum Copy Share Image
At the beginning of 'Will and Grace', I played Jack as the funny next-door-neighbor type, as we've seen in the past. And… — Sean Hayes Copy Share Image
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Get on in life because life will get on without you if you don't keep up. — Zayn Malik Copy Share Image
I think I have a good sense of humor, but I don't consider myself funny. — Da'Vine Joy Randolph Copy Share Image
We must alter theory to adapt it to nature, but not nature to adapt it to theory. — Claude Bernard Copy Share Image
Anything you don't understand is dangerous until you do understand it. — Larry Niven Copy Share Image
A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
You don’t need to be a completely complete human right now … That’s what makes you human. — Tavi Gevinson Copy Share Image
A man who is an enemy of the bride doesn't speak well of the wedding. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
Follow your dreams ...except that one where you're naked in Neighbor's room! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It (the Bible) has never bowed its head before the discoveries of science. — Billy Graham Copy Share Image
Woman say:I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. Woman means:I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“For the hackneyed art of lying without injury to anyone, Rushbrook, to his shame, was proficient.” — Elizabeth Inchbald Copy Share Image
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse'. — Francois Morency Copy Share Image
Pretending to never get the text, from An annoying person who won't leave you alone -.- — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Either you will be under the blood or you will place the blood under you. — Adrian Rogers Copy Share Image
It’s not when you press the shutter, but why you press the shutter. — Mary Ellen Mark Copy Share Image
