Funny Quotes · Page 53

I cannot do it without comp[u]ters.

— William Shakespeare

What God cares about most is that we are His friends.

— Pope Francis

Nobody can succeed on their own.

— Sheryl Sandberg

A day that I don't learn something new is a wasted day.

— B. B. King

There are evils worse than death,

— James F. Cooper

“A woman is a funny animal.”

— James M. Cain

I would like to look funny on screen, doing comedy.

— Fahadh Faasil

A punch to the face is life's DM.

— Green Monk

May your Boss's Day consist of terrified employees awkwardly lavishing you with gifts they can barely afford.

— Anonymous

When life gives you skittles, throw them in people's faces and say,

— Anonymous

“There is strong. There is Army Strong. And then there is Army Wife Strong.”

— Aditi Mathur Kumar

Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?

— Ben Hogan

I need a vacation from my vacation spent worrying about my dog in the kennel.

— Anonymous

We make the future better than the past. We don't hide from history. We make history.

— John McCain

If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

— Anonymous

Bitch also stands for beautiful, intelligent, talented and charming human being

— Hussein Nishah

You can't be a real spy and have everybody in the world know who you are and what your drink is. That's…

— Roger Moore

“We must have a creature made of Darkness to break through the cage of Darkenss that imprisons your grandmother," Thanatos said. "That…

— P.C. Cast

Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so…

— Dave Attell

“...and a third had died in his bunk of natural causes-- for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life”

— R. A. Salvatore

Why do I love Roald Dahl? His voice, more than anything. It's irreproducible. It's so musical, and it's funny even when it's…

— Jesse Andrews

This was the ultimate form of ostentation among technology freaks - to have a system so complete and sophisticated that nothing showed;…

— Michael Swanwick

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between…

— Mark Twain

Yes, as an oppressed people, American Indians have this epic burden, but first and foremost, they're human: sometimes a mess, sometimes funny…

— Alexandra Fuller

You can start your day over anytime.

— Dani Shapiro

S.o.b.e.r.= son of a bitch everythings real.

— Anonymous

What do any of us ever truly know?

— David Markson

One who has loved truly can never lose entirely.

— Napoleon Hill

With The Great Power, Comes Huge Electricity Bill!

— Pacifiersucker

Look. Either you can agree with me or be wrong.

— Anonymous

We are for religion against the religions.

— Victor Hugo

You are the love of my twitter

— Nikhil Saluja

I'd like to do a film which is funny.

— Clive Owen

In the future, all robots will act like Don Knotts.

— Cesar Romero

No one has the right to live without being shocked.

— Philip Pullman

The harder I prepare, the luckier I seem to get.

— Michael Jordan

Funny people don't really laugh very much.

— Tim Heidecker

All are seeing God always. But they do not know it.

— Ramana Maharshi

I've only read fiction, so I don't know anything actual

— Anna Torv

Nothing can be produced out of nothing.

— Diogenes