Funny Quotes · Page 51

Immitation is suicide.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are what we reblog.

— Aristotle

Is That All There Is?

— Peggy Lee

***A KEY WORD*** Imagined

— Markus Zusak

Don't talk about it; write.

— Ray Bradbury

Most people never listen.

— Ernest Hemingway

British women can't cook.

— Prince Philip

Altogether too many sheep

— George Bernard Shaw

Fear itself is the vanguard of wisdom

— Pema Chodron

Dear locked account users, who hurt you?

— Nikhil Saluja

Cynics are all moralists, and merciless too.

— Indro Montanelli

You can’t stand up in a Cadillac, either.

— Bill Lear

Getting fan mail from Brazil is kind of funny.

— Essie Davis

I don't know...let's Yahoo it! -Said by no one, ever.

— Anonymous

Can't rely on anyone these days except your dog...!!

— ShaisZ

Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.

— Phyllis Diller

For as long as I can remember, I've had John Michael Higgins in my brain in the funny department.

— Briga Heelan

When I have money = Nothing to buy. When I don't have money = I want everything.

— Anonymous

“Shindana na wenzako kuwa juu zaidi katika tasnia uliyojichagulia.”

— Enock Maregesi

Marjorie Luke was funny and huge, or at least I remember her that way.

— Brad Hall

Dear math, I don't want to solve your problems, I have my own to solve.

— Anonymous

Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

— Paul Dickson

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.

— Ahmed Hashim

Lawyers spend their professional careers shoveling smoke.

— Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr

“I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one?…

— Ryan Lilly

You always say 'I'll quit when I start to slide', and then one morning you wake up and realize you've done slid.

— Sugar Ray Robinson

It's funny, because even though Bridgerton' is obviously a period drama, Anthony's story is quite modern in the sense that he's reached…

— Jonathan Bailey

How [stories] are told, who tells them, when they’re told, how many stories are told — are really dependent on power.

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny.

— Dov Davidoff

“You should have seen the costumes for the last few prom themes: Pimps and their srteet ho's; CEOs and their office ho's;…

— The Harvard Lampoon

My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.

— Norm MacDonald

“Is this your boyfriend?" the first nun asked. Clair Olivia looked me up and down. “No. This is my gay friend who…

— Bill Konigsberg

Better laid than never.

— Joan Rivers

I love the challenge.

— Nancy Lopez

I'm doing this for me.

— Jessica Mathews

Girls love to fish,

— Amit Verma

A hit, a very palpable hit.

— William Shakespeare

Where they do this at?

— Kiara Sellars

Never moon a werewolf.

— Anonymous

Books which are no books.

— Charles Lamb