In science, read, by preference, the newest works; in literature the oldest. — Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton Copy Share Image
Forgiveness is God's greatest gift because it meets our greatest need. — David Platt Copy Share Image
After being impaled by a javelin, while officiating- I'm doing fine now, just resting and hanging around. — Jeremy Campbell Copy Share Image
Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure. — Katt Williams Copy Share Image
The only thing that weakens worry is work, so I will be working for Marie Corfield — Cory Booker Copy Share Image
If you listen to a song and get an image in your head, and then you go home and watch mtv and… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
“What the hell?” Ian asked, holding his hands over the front of his Christmas briefs. Sara had ordered them from the Internet,… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
Of course 'we humans' have a funny relationship with the beings with whom we share our planet. We eat them, we care… — April Gornik Copy Share Image
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Money won't ever make you happy, nor was it ever meant to. Happiness comes from within. Money at best will make you… — James Arthur Ray Copy Share Image
For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post… — Stephanie Copy Share Image
When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys… — Alan Carr Copy Share Image
The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'. — A. P. Herbert Copy Share Image
Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold." — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I'm the leader, not a follower. Unless it's a dark place then fuck that shit, you're going first. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You don't know what's on the inside until you put a demand on your potential. — Joel Osteen Copy Share Image
Confession. 3.) My Favorite Band Is One Direction But My Favorite SingerIs Ed Sheeran¥ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A man wears the pants in a relationship but the woman tells the man which pair to put on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
An Airedale can do anything any other dog can do and then whip the other dog if he has to. — Theodore Roosevelt Copy Share Image
When we exist, death is not yet present, and when death is present, then we do not exist. — Epicurus Copy Share Image
Everything in your business can be outsourced... if you're not emotionally attached to doing it all. — Richard Branson Copy Share Image
Afraid of death? Not at all. Be a great relief. Then I wouldn't have to talk to you. — Katharine Hepburn Copy Share Image
You would be amazed how much I'm wrong when people say guess what. — Celeste Hartman Copy Share Image
The sooner you learn it's on you to make life interesting, the better off you'll be. — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
Some people have the time but they don't have time while others have time but do not have the time. — Jacques Prevert Copy Share Image
It's better to do nothing with your money than something you don't understand. — Suze Orman Copy Share Image
In general, I gravitate toward anything where I can be funny, but as a consumer myself, I enjoy dramedies. — Ego Nwodim Copy Share Image
When you are getting beat to death, get your head out of the mixer. — Richard Dennis Copy Share Image
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
