Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground — Francis Bacon Copy Share Image
'Tis a good thing to laugh at any rate; and if a straw can tickle a man, it is an instrument of… — John Dryden Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't wait for your wedding to be my excuse for getting out of another wedding. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is up to me now to choose how to live out the months that remain to me. — Oliver Sacks Copy Share Image
All religions are the same. They all lead to God. God is everybody. — Neem Karoli Baba Copy Share Image
I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Smart Funny and Black' is basically a live black pop culture game show that I created. We have a live band. We… — Amanda Seales Copy Share Image
In the grasp of self-righteousness of his heroism a never want to accept that A women are single omnipotent in this world,… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
“"Repeat that?" "It's National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Didn't you know?" "Somehow I missed the memo." "You mean, 'Somehow I missed… — Shannon Hale Copy Share Image
You know what, December's a funny time of the year, because the weather changes, the central heating comes on; sometimes you can… — Phil Taylor Copy Share Image
Lets TOAST to Lying,Cheating, and Stealing…if your gonna Lie..Lie for a Friend. If your gonna Cheat...Cheat Death, If your gonna Steal...Steal a… — Ash Sweeney Copy Share Image
“I'm still furious with you," she murmured, kissing a line down his chest. "Oh, God, please don't be furious," he choked out… — Adele Ashworth Copy Share Image
Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years. — Henry Fielding Copy Share Image
Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your knowledge of wine is almost as impressive as your use of it to disguise your alcoholism. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God won't allow anything happen in your life if it's not for your good. — Nick Vujicic Copy Share Image
“Do I look like the kind of person who wastes time turning goats into pin cushions?” — L.J. Smith Copy Share Image
You can listen to what people say, sure. But you will be far more effective if you listen to what people do. — Seth Godin Copy Share Image
I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true. — Edmund Hillary Copy Share Image
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What you know you know. What you don't know, you don't know. This is knowledge. — Confucius Copy Share Image
And who are the greater criminals-those who sell the instruments of death, or those who buy them and use them? — Robert E. Sherwood Copy Share Image
I'm not a broad comic, but I think I can be funny and I think I make people laugh. — Lennie James Copy Share Image
I was never one who looked at success as bad. For me, success was always good. I loved it, and still do. — Donald Trump Copy Share Image
Film Twitter is a funny place. I often dip my toe into it. I'm entertained and horrified in equal measures. — Harris Dickinson Copy Share Image
I only lie for sex or money or to practice for when I need to lie for sex or money. — Stephen Schneider Copy Share Image
“Sometimes, if you close your eyes and keep still, you can be invisible. Ostriches know this." - Constantine” — Jamie Delano Copy Share Image
Its true, I cant make you love me. But I can refuse to let you out of your cage — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
People who say life is a bed of roses usually complain about sleeping in thorns. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
