Funny Quotes · Page 474

Silence has never brought us anything of worth.

— Audre Lorde

I love you with all of my heart and genitals.

— Anonymous

You can only look forward as far as you can look back.

— Raymond Dart

So many lives I touch, so much anger.

— Eminem

I played 100 shows before I got paid

— Dizzy Wright

The opportunity will not remain open indefinitely.

— Barack Obama

If your mom's asleep, don't wake her up.

— Anonymous

Yesterday I was lying, today I am telling the truth.

— Bob Arum

Unlike Prince William, you can be sure no one will marry you for fame, fortune, or royalty.

— Anonymous

“The girl may have been tiny, but everything about her said, I'm not scared of you, so piss off. ”

— Christine Manzari

The clown is an image of us, he is disguised under a funny face, pretending to be happy.

— Efiosiugbore Adebayo

I was going to do something today but I haven't finished doing nothing from yesterday.

— Anonymous

I'm sure I'll enjoy your wedding despite not enjoying any other wedding I've ever been to.

— Anonymous

Music Has Been There For Me When No One Else Was And The Only Thing That Stays When Everyone Else Leaves

— Kid Cudi

Why do dogs love their daily walks? They get to check their p-mail!

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't think any writer is a friend to the reader if he or she is not funny.

— Amitava Kumar

“Normally I’d run off in the other direction when faced with a man wearing what were essentially pyjamas to work, but this…

— Josephine Myles

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind…

— Anonymous

When I first started, I wasn't trying to go viral. I just liked making funny videos, content that people would enjoy.

— Lil Nas X

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for…

— Jerry Coleman

Remember how he handled the Iran-contra Never Ending Scandal from Hell? He went on national television, the President of the United States,…

— Dave Barry

It's funny how concert dreams are such a recurring thing among musicians. It's like how everyone has that dream of their teeth…

— Kevin Parker

“That will be her undoing," gasped Artemis, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. "Artemis Fowl will never be secondary…

— Eoin Colfer

“Fifteen minutes later, Justin looks at his pint of blood with pride. He doesn't want it to go to some stranger, he…

— Cecelia Ahern

Hay que ser absolutamente Moderno

— Arthur Rimbaud

We must ask where we are and whither we are tending.

— Abraham Lincoln

Cover the earth, before it covers you.

— Dagobert D. Runes

Listen, then make up your own mind.

— Gay Talese

My only politics have been friendship.

— Jean Cocteau

If it's not an absolute YES, it's a NO

— Cheryl Richardson

A writer is someone who writes!

— Pat Schneider

By the time everyone catches up with you, you're bored.

— Fran Lebowitz

Whatever effects one directly, effects all indirectly.

— Martin Luther King, Jr

Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!

— Henny Youngman

Any slower and he'd be in reverse.

— Andre-Pierre Gignac

Dead birds don't fall out of their nests.

— Winston Churchill

How dare you ignore me ignoring you.

— Green Monk

What I like doing best is Nothing.

— A. A. Milne

If you are an asshole, we can be best Friends.

— Nikhil Saluja

There is no such thing as an unsolvable problem.

— Sergei Korolev