My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Ambition displeases when it has been sated ... having reached the peak, it aspires to descend. — Pierre Corneille Copy Share Image
I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny. — Dr. Seuss Copy Share Image
I love you like crazy, And u call the mental hospital and said he is mental co'z he is crazy… — Rohit Copy Share Image
There has never been an age that did not applaud the past and lament the present. — Lilian Eichler Watson Copy Share Image
It's a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough… — Alan Alda Copy Share Image
I hope I live to be 100 if only just to mess with people by telling them fake reasons why I lived… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Damn, Ian was already there. I braced myself as he came out from behind the RV. He sniffed, his nose wrinkling. Then… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
Given the amount of food I plan to gorge on this year, I'm not confident in the integrity of this chair's construction. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was very young, and I kind of decided I wanted to do comedy. My parents were musicians, so we traveled on… — Trevor Moore Copy Share Image
“I didn't want to prejudge but based on the company he kept, the glistening of his suit, and the poser-like swagger, I… — Harlan Coben Copy Share Image
It was a great Olympics - Team USA finished the games with 17 more medals than China. China said it was tough… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Even when it's not the best of days, you can always tell yourself, hey, at least I'm not the person who sank… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
