I could go back in the direction I had come from, or I could go forward in the direction I intended to… — Cheryl Strayed Copy Share Image
Funny how the one you'd take a bullet for is sometimes the one pulling the trigger. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
By the time I was 25, I was a full-on neg head - and not in a funny way, either. — Lou Sanders Copy Share Image
Before you ask for Rosh Hashanah off, make sure you know what Rosh Hashanah is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... you kept meowing at people and licking yourself it was not unlike you normally.” — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
People always say, "When did you know you were funny?" They don't mean that in a bad way - this already makes… — Rob Huebel Copy Share Image
I look into eyes, shake their hand, pat their back, and wish them luck, but I am thinking, I am going to… — Seve Ballesteros Copy Share Image
“By doing ordinary actions efficiently you will become the best among ordinary, but you will not be an extraordinary.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your… — Leo Rosenberg Copy Share Image
It's funny - when I started acting, I didn't know I was going to be talking about Asian-American issues so much. You… — Justin Chon Copy Share Image
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
