One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself. — Bill Murray Copy Share Image
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Instead of using technology or wearing technology constantly, we will start becoming technology, — Neil Harbisson Copy Share Image
Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
Almost all serial killers are men. That's 'cause women like to kill one man slowly over many, many years. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, 'Parking Fine' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you have to do something, write me a funny AIDS play. Sure you can. It's the biggest joke played on us… — Robert Patrick Copy Share Image
I think comedy, so much of it comes out of the strange sort of golden instant 'cause you don't know why it's… — Alice Lowe Copy Share Image
I love seeing girls who are funny and strong and smart being celebrated. I love seeing more girls like that represented on… — Taylor Russell Copy Share Image
I'm attracted to women who are smart and funny and ambitious and have lives of their own and great families. Isn't that… — Tom Brady Copy Share Image
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
I hope my anus and genitals roasting in 95-degree weather all day doesn't turn you off from giving me oral sex tonight. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of… — Richard P. Feynman Copy Share Image
