What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
It is quite possible for the vulgar to be funny, but to succeed, it must rise to a certain genius. — Roger Ebert Copy Share Image
“Not that I can think of. In fact, I have never met anyone who didn’t like gargoyles.” — Shayla Orick Copy Share Image
That little dance your thumbs dowhen you don't know how to answer to a text. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You never realize what you have until its gone. Toilet paper is a good example. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
I want you to have a candle- lit dinner and say those magical three words to you... Pay The bill! — Ritu Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when Phineas & Ferb never go to school but they're still smarter than you :D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you go after honey with a balloon, the great thing is not to let the bees know you're coming. — Winnie The Pooh Copy Share Image
“Stella explained that when he had arrived, because of his English accent, she had assumed that he was me, and had asked… — Tony Hawks Copy Share Image
Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible man ¦ Living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“A company could use bricks to measure their growth rate. How many bricks have angry investors thrown at you lately? If the… — Amy Riekhof Copy Share Image
It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“Elisandra read while I tried my hand at embroidering a pillowcase that she lent me. The results were execrable. I had no… — Sharon Shinn Copy Share Image
I don't think films about working class people are sad at all; I think they're funny and lively and invigorating and warm… — Ken Loach Copy Share Image
“Well," Cinder finally grumbled. "I guess that was pretty fast thinking." A relieved grin filled up Thorne's face. "We're having another moment,… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
People are marked down for their age - once you get past 30, people look at you a bit funny. When you… — Dani Alves Copy Share Image
