Someone told me to give my ex directions but I told them that DOGS can always find there way home. — Stephanie Copy Share Image
Dear people who write on bathroom walls, I don't care who you love. I'm just trying to pee. -_- — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Idk if anyone else watches these boys from Aus on youtube but, THE JANOSKIANS SO CUTEEEE — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job...slowly raise your head and say 'In Jesus name, amen.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world. ” — Leigh Standley Copy Share Image
Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repair man arrives — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never argue with an idiot. People watching won't be able to tell the difference — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“...he was the proud owner of a quite colossal member, which on the many awestruck occasions it had been exposed to public… — Jonathan Coe Copy Share Image
Every time you turn on your new car, you're turning on 20 microprocessors. Every time you use an ATM, you're using a… — Scott McNealy Copy Share Image
I've always been attracted to humor and funny people in general. It's a joy to make people laugh, but it's not as… — Jennifer Garner Copy Share Image
“I'm sure the other kids wouldn't mind not being lectured by another toddler over the virtues of sharing and the mental benefits… — Hayden Thorne Copy Share Image
This man is forcing innocent children to kill their loved ones. For no reason at all. You can make a change. This… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Ion, I'm sorry. I apologize" (...) "Your Majesty! Are you ill?" he demanded" You have been quiet this morning. And now you… — Megan Whalen Turner Copy Share Image
It's funny, because I've never thought of myself as a Hispanic actor, like in 'American Gangster,' I'm playing an Italian. I've always… — Yul Vazquez Copy Share Image
Lmfao here you go.. I wrote something really funny so if u could read it correctly your gonna laugh your ass off… — Gangsta Copy Share Image
