A spare tyre is something that you don't check until you have a punctured one. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
What do you have when you have an agent buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand. — Pat Williams Copy Share Image
I always wish my pets could talk, but then I remember all the things I have said and done in front of… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do not be one of those who, rather than risk failure, never attempts anything. — Thomas Merton Copy Share Image
To open the dictionary of the Beyond and discover what one suspected, that the only word in it is nothing. — Mark Strand Copy Share Image
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
That's why I like to get out there, and get people to see the other side of Mitt, and know us in… — Ann Romney Copy Share Image
“We probably won’t live long enough to run out of food, or electricity, or anything important.” “Oh, you’ll live,” Murphy said. “I… — Bobby Adair Copy Share Image
I’m really not interested in women as victims. Look at me, I get the last laugh ‘cause I get to be funny… — Nora Ephron Copy Share Image
I now know Im psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to… — Paris Hilton Copy Share Image
“Little James Herondale, age two, was in fact holding a dagger quite well. He stabbed it into a sofa cushion, sending out… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
