Funny Quotes · Page 377

This is funny on soooo many levels hahahahaha!!:)

— Rachel

Don't just consume things, create things

— Barack Obama

When u see boy and girl who turn computer!

— MHDAVOODI

Atom Bomb: The invention to end all other inventions.

— Nikhil Saluja

To see evil and not call it evil is evil.

— John Hagee

There are things in Russia which are not as they seem.

— Georgy Zhukov

Always say less than necessary.

— Robert Greene

Nature has a funny way of breaking what does not bend.

— Anonymous

Marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she's a householder.

— Thornton Wilder

I live in Los Angeles, I know it exists. I know you're not supposed to taste air.

— Marc Maron

You're an actor who's Irish, not an Irish actor. And you shouldn't be limited by your extraction.

— Cillian Murphy

“I never arrive unannounced without something big and juicy in hand. - Simon Hunt”

— dannika dark

But I was a sensitive kid. A funny kid, and a perceptive one. There was a lot of time spent alone.

— Jason Butler Harner

I can't love you as you have been or will be. I can only love you as you are.

— Byron Katie

If A Girl Laughs Loudly She Is Cheerful If A Boy Laughs Loudly He Is Manner less

— Nikhil Saluja

Hervey (Weinstein) thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today

— Jennifer Lawrence

Lovely days in my life : Childhood Days, School Days & collage Days, Horrible days in my life : ONLY EXAM DAYS :)

— Anonymous

I'm as good as anybody out there lyrically and conceptually and can go toe to toe with the best of them throughout…

— Coolio

“Whoa, who was that?” “Madison Stone,” Kiara mutters. “Introduce me to her.” “Why?” Because I know it’ll annoy the shit out of…

— Simone Elkeles

“Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers and boys used to dress like their fathers. Now girls…

— Habeeb Akande

I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk…

— Mitch Hedberg

I come in the house soaking wet and am greeted by Is it Raining? Nope, I decided to take the fish for…

— Ritu Ghatourey

The only rule was that the stuff had to be funny and pretty short. To me, the quintessential Army Man joke was…

— George Meyer

“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing”

— Josh Stern

Winner of Worlds Best Wife Award. Category; Nagging.

— Anonymous

Thor and Loki are defined by each other.

— Tom Hiddleston

To be a human is to be destroyed.

— Soe Hok Gie

Do noodles end their prayers with ramen.

— Ramandeep Singh

You are what you are and that fascinates me.

— Marguerite Duras

Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!

— Nikhil Saluja

It is not together, but the ensemble is perfect.

— Eugene Ormandy

On a scale of Voldemort to Pinocchio, how Nosy are you?

— Anonymous

I know nothing and perhaps I never will,

— George R. R. Martin

It's not what happened but how it is told.

— Philip K. Dick

Holiness is an unselfing of ourselves.

— Frederick William Faber

A thing seriously pursued affords true enjoyment.

— Seneca the Younger

He that wrongs his friend, wrongs himself more.

— Alfred Lord Tennyson

My shoes are size 2 and a 1/2, the same size as my feet

— Elaine Paige

I understood early that beauty was power.

— Kevyn Aucoin

Chicks be like... Gimme a kiss!

— Anonymous