You cant get anywhere without the people who have come into your life. — Ian Somerhalder Copy Share Image
Im the type of person who laughs at my own texts before I send them because I'm so damn funny — Gabby Copy Share Image
I'm going to bed .. really means.. I'm going to lie on my bed and be on my phone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious. — Alan Minter Copy Share Image
The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Jersey Shore reminds me LeBron wasn't the first over-publicized douchebag in Miami. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sex is Number 1 of my Top-10 joys in retirement. Number 2 is reading How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. I… — Ernie J Zelinski Copy Share Image
One thing about D.C. that's funny to me is that you end up running into famous political figures who you've seen on… — Maz Jobrani Copy Share Image
What is a college? An institute of learning. What is a business? An institute of learning. Life, itself, is an institute of… — Thomas A. Edison Copy Share Image
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“What do you do when you’re in a room of vampires and the most dangerous one tells you that you know too… — Tijan Copy Share Image
It's weird that people expect me to be funny. I find it a real burden when I'm expected to be humorous on… — Ben Stiller Copy Share Image
It's funny: what one tends to think of as the best work you've done is not what other people think is the… — Richard McCabe Copy Share Image
A friend will calm you down when your angry. A best friend will skip beside you singing 'someone's going to get it.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
