Funny Quotes · Page 346

Oh, I think I'm pretty funny.

— Kevin Faulconer

Any one in love will have no religion.

— Rumi

Either you're a hater or a lover.

— India.Arie

Hey Arnold is probably the father of Stewie.

— Anonymous

You are greater than you know.

— Mother Teresa

I haven’t had everything from life. I’ve had too much.

— Rita Hayworth

We don't have any funny, strange Christmas traditions.

— Charlotte Crosby

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

— SangFroid Stalker

Experience comes from what we have done. Wisdom comes from what we have done badly.

— Theodore Levitt

[U]sefulness is happiness, and... all other things are but incidental.

— Lydia M. Child

I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things

— George W. Bush

Hey you ve been living in my heart but you havent paid your rent.

— Anonymous

For things to change, you've got to change. For things to get better, you've got to get better.

— Jeff Olson

If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.

— Jarod Kintz

Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the 6 you be the 9.

— Anonymous

If you pursued something that you felt strongly about, then I call that success.

— Adora Svitak

But 'Night Herding Song' was funny 'cause we tried to record it in the studio in RCA one day, but theres no…

— Colter Wall

Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I…

— Henny Youngman

“She hated Mr. Meanie. But she'd gotten to know him and they'd reached an understanding of sorts. Now she was to have…

— Deeanne Gist

No matter what I do, I can't help but feel that I'm under a microscope. Some of it is completely silly, and…

— Steve Aoki

The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a…

— Fred Allen

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.

— H. L. Mencken

We made satires of everything - news broadcasts and TV shows that we watched. When I look at them now, they are…

— Lev Yilmaz

A ham sandwich is better than nothing. Nothing is better than eternal happiness. A ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness.

— Anonymous

Foxhunting... the unspeakable pursuing the inedible.

— Oscar Wilde

The only real experience that counts, is your own.

— Terence McKenna

When you loss,someone get benefit.

— Mak_786

Dear me! I must be turning into a god.

— Vespasian

Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.

— Dietrich Bonhoeffer

But why do you delay? Come, do what you will.

— Polycarp

A magic effect is never completely finished.

— Jay Sankey

I am from a very funny family.

— Liz Carr

Regard everything as an experiment.

— Corita Kent

We've just barely stopped being monkeys.

— Duncan Trussell

Don't take yourself so personally.

— Ram Dass

Hope is necessary in every condition.

— Samuel Johnson

You can't make an egg without frying an egg

— Thom Yorke

You gotta keep that in check - you got to.

— Alice Miller

I always had a fetish for murder and death.

— David Berkowitz

Believe only what you know and all of what you know.

— John de Ruiter