We must learn to apply all that we know so that we can attract all that we want. — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and relationships. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have messed with? That's me. — Clint Eastwood Copy Share Image
You don't know you're going to get a 'No' until you ask, and if you don't ask, you've given yourself the No. — Jack Canfield Copy Share Image
I've done so many funny jobs. I worked at a farmer's market through high school. I worked in the stock room of… — Allison Williams Copy Share Image
The main thing I like about New Yorkers is that they understand that their lives are a relentless circus of horrors, ending… — Kyle Baker Copy Share Image
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. — George Orwell Copy Share Image
The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly sold the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France only… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“We still have a lot to talk about," I said. "Talk?" He shook his head, his eyes full of desire. Kiss ,… — Becca Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't want to get myself in trouble - and I don't think I'm super important or anything - but I think… — Justin Vernon Copy Share Image
The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
