The awkward moment when youre waiting for a text but then you realize youre the one who didnt reply. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
There have been many Buddhas before me and will be many Buddhas in the future. — Gautama Buddha Copy Share Image
I feel terrible getting my cat fixed and relegating it to the same sexless existence as me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hate broke hoez...theyll rather open they legs instead of a account — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
No I'm not single, I'm in a long distance relationship because my boyfriend lives in the future. — Cuts And Scars Copy Share Image
From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do. — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
comedians are people who say funny things, and comics are people who say things funny. — Staton Rabin Copy Share Image
That moment that when you are walking on the street, remember something very funny and can't stop smiling like a retard — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're going through a divorce and you're in a comedy you have to find some way to find the funny side… — Alan Ruck Copy Share Image
You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father s. He's more particular. The father is always… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
Twitter, to me, works if you're funny. Twitter doesn't work as a promotional tool unless you do it very, very, very occasionally. — Albert Brooks Copy Share Image
Its funny when the one you love hurts you and expect for you to go crazy and be miserable... But in the… — Veronica Rara Lorenzo Copy Share Image
“Be ready at seven and I'll take you to dinner first." "First?" Just because I asked, didn't mean I plannedto go. I… — Amber Kell Copy Share Image
Even when the sex is great, sometimes women just want to be held, shown attention and listened to attentively making them feel… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A successful man is one who can earn more money than his wife can possibly spend. A successful woman is one who… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
