Funny Quotes · Page 278

I keep thinking I'm a grown up, but I'm not.

— Victoria Tennant

No nation can be free if it oppresses other nations.

— Friedrich Engels

My pictures really finish themselves.

— Howard Hodgkin

I have won every argument I ever had with myself.

— William Feather

I'm in love with my animal friends.

— Timothy Treadwell

No officer, there is no blood in my alcohol system.

— Anonymous

London now has its own John Grisham.

— Mark Billingham

A thought is a hard thing to control.

— Susanna Kaysen

Before me, there were no moonsaults, there were no Litacanranas!

— Amy Dumas

The difference between me and her is that I can make him smile with my pants on.

— Anonymous

There's more violence, Freddy is less funny and more violent...

— Robert Englund

Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure they are not the same eight hours.

— Anonymous

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

— Spike Milligan

I would just like to point something out to you: the exit.

— Green Monk

Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.'

— Dave Chappelle

They say true love is worth fighting for, but if its true love..why do you have to fight for it?

— Bernajoy Vaal

“Dylan, while he is in the shower and he and Joss are only seperated by the curtain and his invisibility: Dylan: "Maybe…

— Susan Bischoff

When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states.

— Will Rogers

High school is neither a democracy nor a dictatorship - nor, contrary to popular belief, an anarchic state. High school is a…

— John Green

The last five years I've really worked on my mental health and seeing a therapist - which, it's so funny cause I…

— Jessica Long

Burning Ants. As a kid: oh, no! the city of Townsville is on Fire! Now: hey! where are you going!? COME AVENGE…

— Nutella Umbrella

“Charley's "FOR THE LOVE OF": “Oh,FOR THE LOVE OF gravy” “Just be honest with me, FOR THE LOVE OF applesauce, Gemma.” “But…

— Darynda Jones

Love is a feeling that is really hard to explain, but its the greatest feeling you could ever have. But love could…

— Green Monk

I love actors, and I love the casting process. It's funny, like, some writers don't like actors because, I think, they are…

— Bryan Fuller

Pleasant words are the food of love.

— Ovid

You'll never attain it unless you know the feeling.

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Discern the vital few from the trivial Many.

— Greg McKeown

Our deepest need is to be seen.

— Marianne Williamson

To be slow in words is a woman's only virtue.

— William Shakespeare

My body is my body, every part of it.

— Marilyn

Destroy your enemy by making him your friend.

— Abraham Lincoln

Is to have had and lost/Better than not having at all?

— Jay-Z

The business of business is business.

— Alfred P. Sloan

The only bad studio is the unused one.

— Robert Genn

Mondays are part of a vast right-wing conspiracy.

— Anonymous

When will all the rhetorical questions end?

— George Carlin

No one can keep you down but yourself

— Napoleon Hill

All history is the history of thought,

— Robin G. Collingwood

The Bible opens and closes with a wedding.

— Selwyn Hughes

To be ignorant of motion is to be ignorant of nature

— Aristotle