I'm not going to do anything that I don't think is very funny, even if it's a lot of money or massive… — Matt Berry Copy Share Image
Why are you so funny? If she asks this question, you got her. She is yours. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Money isn't the most important thing. It is important, of course. I am not Mahatma Gandhi. — Jurgen Klopp Copy Share Image
Name your iPod 'Titanic', plug itinto the computer, Titanic is syncing, press cancel, feel like a hero. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“Emma has been meaning to read more ever since she was twelve years old. I have seen a great many lists of… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
Pete Davidson - he's in the movie 'Trainwreck.' He has a small part in it. I told Lorne Michaels about him, said… — Bill Hader Copy Share Image
Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody… — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
My father Rodger is your typical 'funny without knowing it' kinda guy. When he says something that creates shock or joy in… — Iain Stirling Copy Share Image
They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What… — Adam Rex Copy Share Image
Within less than an hour, Chuck and I easily located what could well be the correct platform, where we pass the time… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
