I dont know my friends address but I know EXACTLY WHERE THEIR HOUSE IS. — Ronde Dawson Copy Share Image
If A Girl Is Shopping She Is Trendy If A Boy Is Shopping He Is Wasting Money — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If there was a black character in Clue, the game would be called Solved. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!" — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Who else pretends to be interested in a teacher's personal life just to waste time in class? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I were a cat, I'd make love with a door mat; if I were a frog, I'd make love with a… — Jean-Paul Malfatti Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're taking off your jeans in the changing room, and your underwear decides to come off too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Here, by the grace of God and an inside straight, we have a personality untouched by the psychotic taboos of our tribe… — Robert Heinlein Copy Share Image
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, more self confident, and a better dancer. I saw the video from last… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Next Time someone rings your home phone, test their intelligence by replying with 'Hi, can I call you back I'm driving' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Would you like to sit?" Kellen asked her. "You'd better do it soon," Owen whispered close to her ear, "or I'm going… — Olivia Cunning Copy Share Image
When we were on acid, we would go into the woods, because there was less chance that you would run into an… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“He runs his eye along the row of knives in their racks, the cleavers for splitting bones. He picks one up, looks… — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
