Funny Quotes · Page 242

A nickel ain't worth a dime.

— Yogi Berra

What we will become depends on us

— P. Chidambaram

We cannot know God apart from His Word...

— Joyce Meyer

If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

— Jeff Garlin

Poetry is a necessity of life,

— C.D. Wright

The place to find is within yourself.

— Joseph Campbell

I live no more, but Christ liveth in me!

— Samuel Rutherford

Accelerando means in tempo. Don't rush.

— Eugene Ormandy

When you look up 'hilarious' in the dictionary, there's a picture of you.

— Jonathan Safran Foer

We are like the herb which flourisheth most when trampled upon

— Walter Scott

There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home.

— L. Frank Baum

I can still advocate for a marginalized community, while also thinking dog humping is really funny.

— Patti Harrison

Financially Im comfortable. But life has a lot more in store for me.

— Elie Tahari

Girls Sleep over: Expectation: PILLOW FIGHT!!! Reality: Pass the Doritos Beeotch

— Anonymous

Leadership simply begins with the courage to be yourself. So everyone else can be, too.

— Umair Haque

Fight them everywhere. Don't give them a chance to breathe until they withdraw and retreat.

— Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

He used to think that he was fantastic in bed until he discovered that all his girlfriends suffered from asthma……

— Green Monk

So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly…

— Tommy Cooper

I love horror. It's funny, because 'The Invitation' never struck me as horror, but it's definitely that type of thriller.

— Karyn Kusama

I don't know, maybe Australian humour isn't supposed to be funny. It's as dry as the Sahara, and I think people miss…

— Nick Cave

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese…

— James H Kabbler III

“He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes." "He's always taking something - generally food.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday.…

— Tina Fey

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small, and the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all.

— Idina Menzel

I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

— Nikhil Saluja

Learn to express, not impress.

— Jim Rohn

If we don't get lost, we'll never find a new route.

— Joan Littlewood

Any society that is silencing its women has no future.

— Hafsat Abiola

The price of leadership is criticism.

— Albert J. Dunlap

I didn’t write the rules. Why would I follow them?

— W. Eugene Smith

I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.

— Art Buchwald

“Well, aint this a kick in the dick!”

— Genocider Syo (Touko Fukawa

New STD called feelings. Don't catch that shit.

— Anonymous

Time'swheelsrunsbackor stops: Potterand clayendure.

— Robert Browning

When I was young I knew everything

— Brian Vander Ark

Magick is the Art of Life itself.

— Aleister Crowley

Where then shall hope and fear their objects find?

— John Ashbery

Success is good for the character.

— John Mortimer

“You ought to sue that son of a whore”

— Stephen King

I’ve always lived in the moment.

— Yanni