“I love that there's such a rivalry. It's like, leaf water versus bean water, ya know?” — Robyn Schneider Copy Share Image
Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Woman say:OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF. Woman means:I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going Dutch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Please join me at the beach to help detract attention from my body abnormalities. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Girl: Your favorite band/singer sucks! * 25 MINUTES LATER* Cop: So she fell down the stairs? Me: Yeah, Let's go with that. — Lisette Alfaro Copy Share Image
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Arrgh!” Hadleigh flung up an arm to shield her eyes but the damage had been done. She’d seen a lot of ugly… — Jane Cousins Copy Share Image
When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality. — Al Capone Copy Share Image
Never draw anything you can copy, never copy anything you can trace, never trace anything you can cut out and paste up. — Wally Wood Copy Share Image
Two things in life that are difficult to achieve: 1. To plant your idea in someone's head. 2. To plant someone's money… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let me tell you something. I'm a funny girl, and I gave birth to what? Funny. I can't help it. It just… — Niecy Nash Copy Share Image
