Funny Quotes · Page 238

Behold God beholding you...and smiling.

— Anthony de Mello

Many times I have thanked God for a bite of raw dog.

— Robert Peary

My place is placeless, a trace of the traceless.

— Rumi

There will never be another Sachin Tendulkar.

— Muttiah Muralitharan

“You totally love him. He's your widdle snookums.”

— Thea Harrison

If the world turns its back on you pinch it in the Ass.

— Anonymous

A backward poet writes inverse.

— Nikhil Saluja

Pee splits into two streams. Both miss the toilet...

— Anonymous

Hey sexy! shut the door pull down your pants, get on top of me satisfy your needs. Lot's of love your toilet

— Brad D'Roza

You're as happy as you allow yourself to be - so why be unhappy?

— Marilyn Quayle

I am not a clone of Sarah Palin. I have my own thoughts.

— Christine O'Donnell

I'm the type of girl that will make a snack, while waiting for another snack to cook.

— Johnneil Bertrand

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

— Bill Maher

None but those who are happy in themselves can make others so.

— William Hazlitt

I buy store-brand groceries so I can afford top-shelf booze.

— Anonymous

On Mondays, I'm always f*cking thankful I don't have a swear jar.

— Anonymous

Yesterday, I was a child. Today Im younger and tomorrow Ill become older but the day after tomorrow once again Ill live…

— Mohd Aariff Khan

'Crash' came from personal experience. I saw things inside me from living in L.A. that made me uncomfortable. I saw horrible things…

— Paul Haggis

“There are few things more mysterious than endings. I mean, for example, when did the Greek gods end, exactly? Was there a…

— Salley Vickers

Every single one of you, before you get off the pile, affect the head. Early, affect the head. Continue, touch and hit…

— Gregg Williams

Looking back on the event, I find myself thinking there are three approaches to journalism represented here. One is the "cool" approach…

— David "Doc" Searls

“If I could fly, I would soar all the way up to the window of a plane carrying a suitcase in my…

— Colin Nissan

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The…

— Anonymous

Did you just cut your hair? he asked, so I pulled out my axe & chopped off his arm & asked Did…

— Green Monk

When you are alone you are all your own.

— Leonardo da Vinci

Our business is to be happy.

— Dalai Lama

Don't follow me. I run into walls.

— Anonymous

Inside any deep asking is the answering.

— Rumi

S.E.X ? No thanks, My life F.U.C.K me Everyday.

— Anonymous

Whatever you love most, that is your god.

— Martin Luther

Mr. Krabs lives in Bikini Bottom. Think about it...

— Anonymous

That's more than you know about anything else then.

— Prince Philip

He who sees the Infinite in all things sees God.

— William Blake

I’m a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it.

— Ann M. Dibb

And I rejoiced in being what I was.

— Theodore Roethke

I became my own only when I gave myself to Another.

— C. S. Lewis

Weve become a plastic society.

— Bill Janklow

Hide from change and it will hide from you

— Tina Brown

Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway.

— Jerry Coleman

All we know is what were told.

— Ashly Lorenzana