“So scared to take the Advanced English test today. Well, maybe not since I'm obviously going to get in.” — Azaria H Copy Share Image
“A man wants too many things before marriage, but only peace after it.” — Pawan Mishra Copy Share Image
To Make sure your'e always on the Right track, always keep your Torch Handy !! — Mario Stanyer Copy Share Image
They will try to enter Baghdad, and I think this is where their graveyard will be — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
In spite of a heavy disguise, a few days' growth on my face, dark glasses, a beret and one of William's jackets… — Laurence Olivier Copy Share Image
Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife.… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
If a guy's ever telling you a four-hour sex story with a straight face, just feel sorry for him. Not for lying… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
“I won’t share you, Dylan. I mean that. If you think for one second now that we’re married, you can try and… — Ella Dominguez Copy Share Image
In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called Karoshi. I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department.… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
No matter how drunk you actually get.. there's always that small part inside of you that knows EXACTLY what you're doing. — Christine Ramkran Copy Share Image
An age at which many men are not quite common - at which they are hopeful of achievement, resolute in avoidance, thinking… — George Eliot Copy Share Image
My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk,… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
