If what you are getting online is for free, you are not the customer, you are the product. — Jonathan Zittrain Copy Share Image
Wearing a Beautiful Tight dress with NO ASS is like Having a Branded Wallet with NO CASH!!! — KM II Copy Share Image
Wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere. — Victoria Beryl Zelinski Copy Share Image
Those people with cars as their Facebook picture… …So, you're a Transformer?! e_e 1 — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You must be really tired because you've been running through my mind all day — Alex Low Copy Share Image
I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Sei: The Kudzu snacks were so good I had two and a half bowls but seeing you eat 16 and a half… — Taeko Watanabe Copy Share Image
I saw a guy wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet and a Lance Armstrong bracelet, and he went up to this… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Guess what I'm gonna call my dog when I'm 18 what naked why the hell would u call ur dog naked so… — Nbb Copy Share Image
I think I'm very hard to cast - unless you go out on a limb. I don't look funny. I don't look… — Maureen Lipman Copy Share Image
The first animals to be successfully domesticated were dogs, which were a big help because they would bark all night and fetch… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“This is just your penis having the feels for my vagina. Your penis is making prank calls! and every single time your… — Penny Reid Copy Share Image
She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder… — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
I've been invited to appear on Letterman, but they wanted me to talk about a funny videotape of Congress. 'Bring us your… — Brian Lamb Copy Share Image