Funny Quotes · Page 197

40Too young for medicare, too old for men to care

— Anonymous

Thought is a means of concealing Truth.

— Alan Watts

Never put business before family,

— Walt Disney

Endings are always the beginnings of something else

— Holly Goldberg Sloan

Exegesis, exegesis, and yet more exegesis!

— Karl Barth

You're as fake as that padded bra you're wearing

— Green Monk

I have always been independent.

— Mo Yan

God's been good to me, He really has.

— Bill Parcells

I'm not scared of it. I'm not shy of it or afraid of it. It's just funny to think of me as…

— Trea Turner

Hate when I get drunk at a bar and hot chicks waste the opportunity to take sexual advantage of me.

— Green Monk

Yet what are all such gaieties to me whose thoughts are full of indices and surds?

— Lewis Carroll

I wondered whether any woman could be happy with a man who says 'folderol'.

— Peter De Vries

If a guy only wants you for your legs , thighs , or breasts , don't date him , give him directions to KFC .

— Green Monk

Everyone has a price, the important thing is to find out what it is.

— Pablo Escobar

When you try to be different, you are being like everyone else. Being yourself is what makes you different.

— Nikhil Saluja

“i think that i was a rat in rat wheel in my previous life... can not forget the habit”

— Hiroko Sakai

I saw Hulk Hogan the other day in a parking lot, and I couldn't tell from a distance if it was Hulk…

— Kyle Cease

Growing up, I would use comedy as a kind of defence mechanism - you know, I'm going to call myself a nasty…

— Asim Chaudhry

It's funny that everyone talks about Women's Revolution and I'm the first one to be behind all of them and be with…

— Maryse Mizanin

“Hackers are nerdy, pasty, tubby, little geeks with triple thick glasses and this is probably a demented otaku with smelly feet. So…

— Keiko Nobumoto

I went through a phase where I thought it was really funny to make pratfalls in very crowded places. I jumped out…

— Paul Rudd

The Christianity that saves is a thing personally grasped, personally experienced, personally felt and personally possessed.

— J. C. Ryle

What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit…

— Robert Schimmel

Knows that you cannot please everyone all at once, but finds it funny how easily you can piss everyone off all at…

— Nishan Panwar

I've been called worse by better.

— Sol Star

Can't sleep in the night. Can't wake up in the morning.

— Mee

Do the best you can and never stop.

— Stephen Wiltshire

Failure is not an American habit.

— Franklin D. Roosevelt

Pass the bill to find out what's in it

— Nancy Pelosi

It is seriously time for a miracle.

— Farrah Fawcett

If you can't change the woman, CHANGE THE WOMAN!

— Nikhil Saluja

“They already looked at us funny anyway.”

— Kiera Cass

Rules cannot take the place of character.

— Alan Greenspan

My every thought in a pool as a kid

— Katie Grabil

Never point at anything beige and call it cool.

— Lea DeLaria

Treat me like a joke, watch me leave you like its funny

— Anonymous

Don't let technology dictate your life.

— Maria Ressa

Time does not exist - we invented it

— Albert Einstein

I was so thrilled I attempted to mount my television

— Norman St John-Stevas, Baron St John of Fawsley

All genuine education comes about through experience.

— John Dewey