If you don't advertise yourself you will be advertised by your loving enemies. — Elbert Hubbard Copy Share Image
A true friend will see you through when others see that you are through. — Laurence J. Peter Copy Share Image
Isn't it funny - why is it called a tennis bracelet? It doesn't seem very tennis, does it? — John Cameron Mitchell Copy Share Image
''A lesson I learned from a toothache : Even the sweetest thing on the earth can hurt.'' — Scarlet Kim Copy Share Image
Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I know a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You want to know what it's like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I'm probably not very funny. The scripts just don't come in, or the ones that do aren't that good. I suppose I'm… — Ray Winstone Copy Share Image
The greatest comfort of my old age, and that which gives me the greatest satisfaction, is the pleasing remembrance of the many… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Apparently, my father was funny. I didn't really know him, but people have theories that the gag-smith gene trickles down through the… — Aisling Bea Copy Share Image
Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't see a lot of narratives written where a woman who looks like me gets to be beautiful and sexualized and… — Viola Davis Copy Share Image
“The woman rolled her eyes. “DarkRiver males are damn possessive and complete exhibitionists during the mating dance.” Sascha ran through her dictionary… — Nalini Singh Copy Share Image
“My love for you is like diarrhoea, it never stops.” — Dude I'm Kidnapping Byun Baekhyun Copy Share Image
