MARRIAGE LICENSE, is the only permit taken out after the hunt is over — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WHEN YOUR PEN RUNS OUT: 5% Calmly getting a new one 95% SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE! . — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When a woman agrees to give her husband head for no reason --- there is a reason. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a paradox is widely believed, it is no longer recognized as a paradox. — Mason Cooley Copy Share Image
“Jarod Kintz gets so many retweets, he’s like Katniss Everdeen with tourettes in a forest full of Mockingjays.” — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
Heaven must be an awfully dull place if your best friends end up elsewhere. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Chocolate cake and a diamond ring? In bed with the man of my dreams?” — Cristin Harber Copy Share Image
“This is you." She pointed at the stick figure with enormous red curly marks and blue eyes. Did my hair really look… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
My sons the same, hes terribly funny. Its a wonderful power to have. Its also fantastically disarming. Women find it unbelievably disarming.… — Robbie Coltraine Copy Share Image
Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press 1 eighteen thousand times. — Randy Glasbergen Copy Share Image
I love movies that are funny and scary and truly emotional all in one film, and I don't feel like I see… — Lee Unkrich Copy Share Image
Tell a girl she's BEAUTIFUL in a million times she'll never believe it, tell her she's UGLY ONCE and she'll never forget… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think audiences have always wanted to see women in the movies, but every time a movie like 'Bridesmaids' comes out, everyone… — Isla Fisher Copy Share Image
“You are not showing her my baby pictures!” He sounded horrified, which made me laugh. “Come on, Evan,” I teased with a… — Rebecca Donovan Copy Share Image
It was the coldest winter ever! I thought last winter was the coldest winter ever, but I was wrong now wasn't I?… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image