Things you'll never hear stop sucking my dick or ill call the police — Shubham Joshi Copy Share Image
Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“Get off me you dirty turnip!" "Dirty turnip? well, pardon me Signor Cabbage-Head!” — Elle Newmark Copy Share Image
It's funny that as soon as I retired from international football, Italy won the World Cup. — Paolo Maldini Copy Share Image
In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“When she emerged, Keith was watching the tiny round window of the under-the-counter washing machine. "Put your clothes in for a wash,"… — Maureen Johnson Copy Share Image
If mini skirts today get any shorter... women will have two more lips to paint, two more cheeks to powder, and a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never KISS a lady police, She will say, hands up. Never KISS a lady doctor, She will say, Next please Always KISS… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Felicia (to Grayson) - To think Eliza truly does seem to be under the misimpression that you're capable of charm.” — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
I always think I should get on it if I want to have kids. Because once you hit thirty it can be… — Sarah Copy Share Image
Me and Elmo had a fight. Cookie Monster say sorry but Elmo still mad. Elmo left and me feel sad. Now, cookie… — Elmo And Cookie Monster Copy Share Image
