That awkward moment when you're mad at someone, and then they make you laugh!.. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“Mardi Gras, baby. Mardi Gras. Time when all manner of weird shit cuts loose and parties down.” — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
Women are like plug sockets. You have to stick something into all three holes before they work. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady. — Francois de La Rochefoucauld Copy Share Image
Don’t wear what you question, wear what you think is right for you. — Karl Lagerfeld Copy Share Image
Memory is a crazy woman who hoards colored rags and throws away food. — Austin O'Malley Copy Share Image
It is not the irregular hours or irregular diet that makes the romantic life. — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
Genius do what it must,talent do what it can,and I do what I get paid for!!!!! — Ella B Copy Share Image
To act like everyone has had the same access to share their funny is willful ignorance at its best - and just… — Amanda Seales Copy Share Image
I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Call listened with amusement--not that the incident hadn't been terrible. Being decapitated was a grisly fate, whether you were a Yankee or… — Larry McMurtry Copy Share Image
How does a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's magical. There must be some sesame seed glue out there. Either that… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Did I ever tell you that my home in Rim was bigger than the whole of your compound?" Sable asked. A jab,… — Veronica Rossi Copy Share Image
“An angora. That's what it was," he exclaims with a grin. "They have translucent wings and are about five inches tall and… — Arianna Fox Copy Share Image
I got mugged. And they got my knapsack with my comedy notebook in it. So if anybody see two cholos bombing at… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
“When I introduced you to Mary Ann, I wanted to call you my girlfriend, Elli,” he looked up at her to see… — Toni Aleo Copy Share Image
