I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff. — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! — Yogi Berra Copy Share Image
If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English. — Dan Castellaneta Copy Share Image
Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?" Homer: "Well, I think the veal died of loneliness. — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that… — Homer Copy Share Image
We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun?… — Homer Copy Share Image
Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was… — Homer Copy Share Image
This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would… — Charles Montgomery Copy Share Image
All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's… — Dan Castellaneta Copy Share Image
Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother, and I call him Gamblor! — Homer Copy Share Image
I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God. — Homer Copy Share Image
I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me. — Homer Copy Share Image
When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong! And… — Homer Copy Share Image
