Sorry that, statistically speaking, you probably won't fulfill your resolution. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a… — Judith Crist Copy Share Image
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square ... It's a lot quieter than the regular… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
My New Year's resolution is to never tell you what the person looks like who you kissed on New Year's. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The new year will be like the old one if you keep on doing the same old things. — Jean-Paul Malfatti Copy Share Image
A New Year resolution is something that only happens in the first week of the New Year. — Merle Anthony Rowland Copy Share Image
Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other. — Sofia Palermo Copy Share Image
This year, I'm just making one New Year's resolution: Stop making resolutions. My only other resolution is to quit breaking my resolutions. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since. — Dave Beard Copy Share Image
This year my New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'Seacrest out!' after I ejaculate. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
This year I'm not going to make a new years resolution. Just going to end up wasting the first week of January. — Merle Anthony Rowland Copy Share Image
