I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic. — Bob Odenkirk Copy Share Image
When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor… — Helen Hayes Copy Share Image
“The anecdote was funny, but as my father gazed across the river at the university of his youth, his Russian life was… — Paullina Simons Copy Share Image
I remember trying to be funny, and both of my parents were terribly funny. My father was also very dignified, but my… — Jack Lemmon Copy Share Image
There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I was a little bit ashamed of American TV because I thought, 'None of the shows my father works on are as… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
Scratch any father, you find / Someone chock-full of qualms and romantic terrors, / Believing change is a threat. — Phyllis McGinley Copy Share Image
Father's Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it's the one day of the year that… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be a comedian, even when I was a little kid. I had a funny father who was in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The thing to remember about fathers is, they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon seekers, bent… — Phyllis McGinley Copy Share Image
If your dad is anything like mine, then you have no clue what to buy him for Father's Day. The only Father's… — Michael Showalter Copy Share Image
You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
